Archive for October, 2007
Monday, October 15th, 2007
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According to Michael Silver of Yahoo! Sports, Kurt Warner has torn ligaments in his non-throwing elbow. Silver also said that Warner informed friends and family of the injury via email, reporting that:
Warner, scheduled for an MRI Monday, wrote in the email he believed that through the power of prayer he would be miraculously healed before undergoing the exam.
Michael Florio, editor of the always informative ProFootballTalk.com, seemed awfully perturbed at Warner’s request, saying in his Rumor Mill post this morning:
Frankly, I’ve got no remaining patience for these athletes who think that their God-given talents automatically qualify them for miracles that the rest of us don’t get. God’s will is just that, and His will isn’t going to be changed simply because Brenda Warner says “pretty please.”
The most common prayer in Christianity is the ultimate proof of this. It’s “thy will be done,” not “my will be done.” And the use of prayer as a vehicle for asking God to do anything other than provide us with the bare necessities of life and the strength to adapt to the changes in our lives that His will brings about is, in my own personal opinion and not the opinion of Football Talk, LLC or its sponsors, a direct contradiction of the way that we were taught to pray by the guy that God sent to teach us stuff like that.
I’m not saying that it’s useless to try to persuade God to exercise His will in a manner that meets our own perceived needs and wishes. But should a football player who has already seen more than his own fair share of blessings be asking for God to heal an injury that presents no threat to his life?
A few thoughts on Florio’s beef.
1. When did Kurt Warner say that he was qualified for “for miracles that the rest of us don’t get”? Answer: he didn’t (unless he did and I missed it). I bet Kurt Warner would tell Florio that prayer would be just as effective for him as well.
2. Florio argues that prayers “for asking God to do anything other than provide us with the bare necessities of life and the strength to adapt to the changes in our lives that His will brings about” is a direct contradiction of how Jesus taught us to pray. It’s an interesting point, though i know that elsewhere in the Bible it says “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” (Philippians 4:6). I think bodily injuries would fall under the umbrella of “everything”, but again, this is just my take on it.
3. Florio says “[God's] will isn’t going to be changed simply because Brenda Warner says ‘pretty please’.” Again, not to get all biblical on you, but James 5:16 says, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.” I’m guessing that Kurt is going to go with the Bible’s advice over Florio’s on this one.
4. Florio also asks, “But should a football player who has already seen more than his own fair share of blessings be asking for God to heal an injury that presents no threat to his life?” Answer: Why not? Is there some sort of limit on blessings I’m not aware of? Is Kurt hogging all the blessings that God doles out? Does God have a quota? What exactly is a “fair share” of blessings? And since when is “life-threatening injury” the line where it’s okay for a blessed athlete to ask for prayer?
My Take:
I appreciate Florio’s passion and honesty about the subject, but I think he jumped a little offsides on this one. Nothing Warner apparently said in his email struck me as arrogant, pious, or overly wacky (though admittedly I haven’t seen the whole thing). Seems like he’s a guy with a lot of faith and a strong belief in prayer reaching out to those around him for support. Would you or I send out an email like that? Maybe. Maybe not. But I don’t think it was wrong of him to do. (Though again, I give kudos to Florio for being honest and for airing his issues with the email.)
Speaking of which, this was an email sent to friends and family, not to the press. If Kurt would have used his post-game press conference to solicit prayer from fans across the country, I would have had an issue with that. But asking those you love to pray for you and showing faith that it will help your situation? I don’t think that’s anything to throw a penalty flag for. Your thoughts?
Of course, we’ll keep tabs on the MRI and see if the prayers actually changed the situation.
(h/t: Profootballtalk.com, Yahoo! Sports)
Posted in Christianity, NFL | 7 Comments »
Monday, October 15th, 2007
Monday Reset is a weekly feature that obviously runs on mondays, but only if we have time to bother with it. It contains no references to Britney Spears’ album tracklist, no commentary on Al Gore’s Nobel Prize, and no giveaways for Hannah Monana tickets.
THE CARNAGE OF YESTERWEEK - making sense of the last seven days
Last week we saw…
…the Rockies stay hotter than the burning bush. They are a fire that shows no signs of flaming out.
…the Patriots easily beat the best team in the NFC. Tom Brady and Randy Moss could create cold fusion together if they felt like it.
…the College Football rankings continue to fluctuate like the daily soup specials at your local lunch place. This week’s specials: Ohio State, South Florida, and the Vegetable Minestrone.
…the Indians slap a 7-11 on the Red Sox to take home field advantage back to Jacobs Field in the ALCS. Trot Nixon keys the rally with a big hit. Here’s Trot’s thoughts on faith, via a March 2007 story in the Wilmington Star:
“When my time’s up, I want to be with God,” he said. “I don’t want to stand around and be someone who’s lost. That’s what I believe, and I know there’s a lot of belief systems out there, but … it’s important for people to know that he’s No. 1 in my life.” - Trot Nixon
THE BIG THREE - if you only watch three things this week, make it these:
1. Red Sox @ Indians - Game 3, MON, 7pm (FOX) … Daisuke’s $103MM money clip will be judged off of this one performance. If he dazzles, it was worth it. If he fizzles, it was a waste of cash.
2. (2) South Florida at Rutgers - THU, 730pm (ESPN) … Who’s cheering for USF in this one? 1) Students and alumni, 2) People who live in south Florida, and 3) people who want South Florida in the BCS Title game in hopes that it might persuade the people in charge to enact a playoff system.
3. New England Patriots @ Miami Dolphins- SUN, 1pm (CBS) … Can New England win this game by 50 points? That’s the question going in to this game. Through the years the Patriots have played poorly in Miami, but this year you can throw every cliche and trend out the window. Trap game? Don’t think so. Letdown game? Pshaw. Could this be the first 20-point NFL point spread since 2002? We’ll find out tomorrow.
BRAIN CRUMBS - brushing them from the table of my brain to the floor of the web
- Hockey is almost invisible in this country right now. Am i the only one who feels like that? It doesn’t get much love from ESPN, it’s almost never gabbed about on Sports Talk Radio, and it’s rarely mentioned on the major sports websites. As was joked about in Bill Simmons’ podcast recently, when the hockey season starts, someone let me know.
- The green dot on the back of the football helmets looks terrible for every team…except the Seahawks. I’ve always liked that green trim on the Seahawks unis, and the green dot on the back of the helmets almost matches perfectly. (If you’re into the minutiae of sports uniforms, Paul Lukas’ Uni Watch is a must-read blog.
- The NBA Season is just over 2 weeks away. Are you playing in an NBA Fantasy League this year? I’m in two already, and I’ll probably throw in 1 more just for good measure.
Posted in previews, sports | No Comments »
Friday, October 12th, 2007
Each week The Schnoz Report will get you ready for the upcoming slate of games in the NFL, providing angles (both acute and obtuse, but never right) that you won’t get anywhere else.
As always, if you hate sports, especially football, then reading this post will only make you bitter and angry. Why don’t you go read about the guy who tried to beat a drug test by asking a random boy to pee.
First Thing’s First
What we learned last week:
1. The AFC West might be worse than we thought. Your current division leader? Oakland at 2-2. KC, SD, and Den are all 2-3. At this point, who is the frontrunner to win the division? San Diego based on what they’ve done in the past? Oakland or KC because of their Defenses? Denver by default? If your life was on the line and you had to pick the division winner right now, who would you go with? I think I’d take San Diego, and I’d vomit every time I realized my life was in Norv Turner’s hands.
2. On the Flip Side, the AFC South is beastly. The division’s last place team, the Texans, would be leading the AFC West with their 3-2 record. As hard as it is to happen, it seems like both wild cards could come out of this division this year. Who’s going to have a better record than TEN and JAX for those two spots? Baltimore? Denver? Oakland? I can’t see that happening.
3. The NFC continues to be a sea of mediocrity. Other than Dallas, which teams scare you as an opponent? Answer: none. The teams playing the best right now are probably the Giants, Redskins, and Packers, but these teams all have huge flaws. Even if they lose to New England this weekend, the Cowboys’ path to the Super Bowl looks pretty good right now. Anything less than a trip to the NFC Championship will be a huge disappointment for Wade Phillips.
4. The worst team in the world? a toss-up between Miami, St. Louis, and New Orleans. With all 3 teams on the road this week, the troika could be a collective 0-18 come Monday.
5. The last-second time-out as the field goal is about to be kicked reared its ugly head again on Monday night. Third time that’s happened this year in the NFL. The thing that amazes me, is that in all 3 cases the kicker made his first attempt. That’s why there is so much outrage to change the rule. Imagine if all 3 kickers missed their first attempt, and because of the timeout where given a second chance? We’d all be calling the coaches idiots for doing this and no one would want a rule change. That’s why i think the rule won’t change, because eventually a coach is gonna get burned doing this.
Angle(s) of the Week
It’s all about the Dallas-New England game this week, and rightly so. Funny that the Colts are off this week. I bet they’ll all be glued to their sets to catch this one.
The key to this game is going to be how Romo throws the ball downfield. I don’t think any team can trade punches with the Patriots. They’ll take your shots and hit you back even harder, eventually wearing you down. If the Cowboys can score on big plays that force the Patriot’s defense to respect the home run, then Romo has a chance to use Witten and Barber to move the ball. It’s a huge test for Romo coming off that 5 INT performance.
With much of the attention on T.O. and Moss, I think Dallas will try to hit Crayton and Hurd with downfield bombs when they are in single coverage.
As for New England, I think they’ll score their 28-31 points like they always do. If they can force Romo into 2 or 3 turnovers, and they can keep Dallas from scoring on big plays, they’ll be able to come out on top.
This has Nothing to Do with Football
Not to go all Peter King on you, but I’m in a Panera Bread in Seekonk, Masachusetts and the guy next to me is yelling into his cellphone. yelling.
“TELL MARIO TO GET THAT CONNECTICUT JOB STAHTED BY THURSDAY”
“HEY KEVIN, I GOT CONFIRMATION FROM MARIO. HE’S WORKING WEDNESDAY, SO CALL HIM AFTAH 10:30. HE’S GOT SOME IDEARS ABOUT THAT PAHKING LOT JOB.”
“HEY JIM, DID YOU ORDAH THE RIGHT DOOR FOR THOSE PANELS OR DID YOU MAKE AN ERRAH?”
It’s good to be back home in Massachusetts. I love the accent. But like i tell my son all the time, let’s use our “inside voice” when we are inside. thank you.
Fantasy is the New Reality
I’m happy to report that Nick Folk’s 53-yard field goal as time expired on Monday Night gave me a 1-point victory in Fantasy, my first since Week 1. Still got beat in my other 3 leagues though. I suck.
No Ticket, No Problem
If your wife thinks the Sunday Ticket has to do with the pastor who gets busted for speeding on his way to the pulpit, here’s what you’ll be watching on sunday.
CBS - CBS has the doubleheader this week. There’s 4 early games, with only Miami @ Cleveland happening without HD cameras. I think the coaches for each team requested the standard definition cameras in hopes that people wouldn’t notice how bad they both suck. The late game the entire country will be watching is Dallas and New England. (except for California and half of Nevada, who are stuck watching SD and OAK).
FOX - FOX has 1 game this week. It will be an early game for you unless you get Carolina @ Arizona, which is in the late game slot. But even if you follow those teams, you’ll still probably watch the New England game anyway.
If you’d like to take a peak at the NFL coverage map with your own soul windows, be my guest.
Household Chore to Ignore
Each week I’ll be helping you find something around the house that you should feel guilty about not doing because you’re watching football.
This week it’s the gutters. There are leaves in them. But the thing is, there will be more leaves in them after this week. Why not just wait for all the leaves to fall?
Personally, I’ve never cleaned a gutter in my life because we have hardly any trees in our development (it’s relatively new). The thought of getting on a ladder to do that makes me tired just thinking about it.
So get out your ladder, take a peek in your gutters, confirm that there are leaves. Then peek at the trees, confirm that there are more leaves to fall, and go sit back down on the couch.
Upset Specials
Each week I’ll pick an underdog that i think can win its game outright.
Last Week’s pick: CAR over NO (WIN!)
Record for the Year: 4-1
I like Washington to go into Green Bay this week and beat the favored Packers. Brett Favre will set the all time interception record, Green Bay won’t be able to run the ball, and Jason Campbell will continue his rise to being one of the best QBs in the NFC.
Mascot Wars
This week it’s an MLB edition
Rockies & Diamondbacks - It’s the classic battle of nature. Snakes vs. Mountains. Snakes are crafty, mountains don’t move. Snakes can slither, mountains don’t move. Snakes can shed skin and bite people and constrict on people and can rattle, mountains don’t move. But Blues Traveller never sang a song about snakes, did they? In the words of John Popper, “the mountains win again.” Rockies in 5 games.
Red Sox & Indians - If native americans had socks back hundreds of years ago, perhaps they would have done better in the winters and would have had stronger tribes. Then when the English came over to settle the land, the Indians would have destroyed them in their red socks and none of us would be here today. That would suck. I mean, it was awful what we did to the natives, but I like existing. Red Sox in 6 games.
Conspiracy Theory of the Week
Some people believe the two pictures to the left are the same person.
These people also believe that aliens are real and that eating snow actually burns calories because of the energy it takes to melt it, so you shouldn’t eat snow if you are stranded and thirsty in alaska.
Do not trust these people.
If Betting were Legal
Last Week: 5-9
Year to Date: 37-39
My picks for Week 6 (your spreads may vary):
MIN(+6.5), TEN(+2.5), CLE(-4.5), StL(+9.5), JAX(-6.5), WAS(+3.5), PHI(-3.5), KC(+3.5), ARI(-4.5), OAK(+10.5), NE(-5.5), SEA(-6.5), NYG(-3.5)
Final Word
One more travel note. I hate Connecticut. It is the WORSE state to travel in. ever. I-95, a major interstate that runs from Maine to Florida, goes down to 2 lanes in Connecticut! 2 lanes! what genius came up with that idea? Not to mention that theres thousands of acres of woods surrounding the highway. You could make the road 25 lanes and it wouldn’t even dent the forestry. This is why I won’t vote for Chris Dodd, because i hold him personally responsible for the cumulative hours of traffic i have sat in in his blasted state.
what’s your most hated travel locale? flying out of a certain airport? a certain road near where you live? I’m curious if I’m the only one who despises stretch of road so passionately.
we’re driving back home on Sunday. Pray for us.
-The Schnoz
Posted in NFL | No Comments »
Thursday, October 11th, 2007
With the Colorado Rockies one of only four teams left in the MLB playoffs, and the media looking for storylines in a completely unglamorous NLCS, you can bet that the Rockies’ organization is going to be getting some attention for the way they run their ball club.
It’s already started actually. Will at Deadspin has a new post up today referencing this article from the UK rag, The Independent. And of course, there’s the article from USA Today in June of 2006 when shed the first national light on the values and beliefs that permeate the Rockies organization from top to bottom.
According to the articles, the Rockies’ CEO, General Manager, President, Manager, and many players all profess to be Christians. They have clubhouse rules that are a bit more strict than other clubs: No nudie mags, no obscenity-drenched music, and no sacrificing of small woodland creatures to Beelzebub in this locker room.
How is their faith coming across in interviews and articles? I’ve heard worse, that’s for sure. But there were a few things bothered me. For instance, CEO Charlie Monfort said:
“I don’t want to offend anyone, but I think character-wise we’re stronger than anyone in baseball. Christians, and what they’ve endured, are some of the strongest people in baseball. I believe God sends signs, and we’re seeing those.”
When you have to qualify a statement with “I don’t want to offend anyone” it usually means you’re about to offend someone. The notion that Christians as a people group have endured things that make the Rockies the strongest team in baseball? I’m not really sure what that means, but I’m guessing African-Americans might take umbridge with that statement. What exactly have they endured?
And consider this: even before the Rockies’ finished the season with that amazing run 14 wins in 15 games, their GM Dan O’ Dowd said,
“You look at some of the games we’re winning. Those aren’t just a coincidence. God has definitely had a hand in this.”
I always cringe a bit when i hear team’s suggest that God has had a hand in their winning of games. While I believe God is capable of intervening, and while I believe He does have a hand in our lives more than we probably know, to say that He was helping your team win and the other lose reeks of piety and arrogance to me. I know the statements are meant to give God glory for something they feel he is doing, but they almost never come across as intended. To me, it’s always better to thank God for your talent and opportunity to play and to leave it at that, but what do i know?
That said, I have never agreed with the logic that The Independent uses in a tongue-in-cheek manor to suggest that God wouldn’t intervene in a baseball game because there are more important things to deal with:
“Anyone who fancies the Almighty has better things to do than determine the outcome of baseball games might want to consider just what the Rockies have achieved.”
The notion that God has “better things to do” suggests that he is capable of doing a limited number of things at one time. While I don’t claim to know more about God than anyone else, I don’t think God is up there saying, “Gee, I’d love to help the Christian Rockies win that game tonight but it’s #4,767,809 on my list of important things to do and I’m stuck here on #3 and I keep wasting time reading my email.”
I don’t think God acts in situations based on how important we think they are, and I don’t think He acts in situations based on how tied up He is with other things. I think He does what He does, and we can’t even pretend to understand the how’s and why’s.
It will be interesting to see how much play the faith of the Rockies’ gets over the next week or two. We’ll be sure to pass along everything we hear.
(h/t: Deadspin.com)
Posted in Christianity, MLB | No Comments »
Thursday, October 11th, 2007
I gave my wife the night off yesterday, carting both the kids over to Kylie’s soccer practice. While Kylie dribbled around cones and played with her ponytail, Parker and I were 50 yards away playing baseball with the tennis balls and bat that we brought. As we were playing, a spastic 8-yr old kid came over and asked if he could play. I was annoyed at first, but decided the right thing to do was say “yes” and so i did.
He said his name was Eddie, and then he told me where we were all going to be positioned and what our roles would be (he was going to be the batter). I politely made it clear to Eddie that i was making the rules because i was here to play baseball with my son, so if he wanted to play, he would have to listen to me. Eddie seemed cool with that, and so we played on.
Five minutes later a 10-yr old kid wandered over with his dad, who was still dressed in his business casual work clothes. They had a soccer ball with them and they were kicking it around together. I could tell that neither was really athletic or coordinated, but i thought it was cool that they were goofing off like dads should with their kids. A few minutes later, the dad retreated to his chair by the soccer field and the boy, named Kyle, asked if he could play baseball with us. Why not? The more the merrier.
I let all the kids take turns batting and being the catcher. Parker was the best at hitting and throwing, which i took some sense of pride in, even though it’s probably a dumb thing to be proud about. (He is only 4 though). When it was Kyle’s turn to bat, it was pretty obvious that he didn’t have any experience playing baseball. He told me sheepishly that he wasn’t very good at baseball, and i told him it was okay, that i wasn’t very good either, which seemed to give him a sliver of his confidence back.
After a few hopeless flails, I adjusted his grip, stance, and posture and to his delight he began to foul pitches off. (Hey, sometimes you have to set the bar low, right?) When he finally hit one in the right direction, he was beaming with pride. He looked over at his dad, who was 50 yards away and out of earshot, and said, “I wish my dad could have seen that.”
I continued to help Kyle adjust his swing, and he actually had a few hits that flew by me in the air. “Wow, look at you!” I said, “Great hit.” I was feeling pretty good about myself. Look at me, the baseball coach! Moments later as i walked by him to retrieve a few of the balls he had missed he said to me, “You’re cool. I wish YOU were my dad.”
Ew. That kinda made me feel gross. Thankfully, his dad didn’t hear the comment, but man, if i had heard one of my kids say something like that to another guy, it would break my heart. I mean, all it took for this kid to disown his father was 3 minutes of one on one baseball instruction? Yikes.
Before Kyle ran over to his dad to tell him how well he had it, i tried to redeem the moment as best i could. “I might be cool to have as a friend,” i told the kid, “but your dad is the best person in the world to be your dad.” Not sure if he bought it or not, but it was all i had.
As we drove home i thought about the exchange and it reinforced my desire to be a great dad. I never want that thought to run through my kids’ heads. I want to do everything i can to be the best dad in the world to them, and i want them to know it in their hearts without even having to think about it. That way if someone else’ dad ever spends a couple minutes correcting their batting stance or offering them praise for a job well done, they’ll think to themselves, “this guy’s cool, but he’s not as cool as MY dad.”
Hey, sometimes you need to set the bar high, right?
Posted in parenting, youth sports | No Comments »
Friday, October 5th, 2007
Note: The Schnoz Report is a column i write each week for the Burnside Writers’ Blog. From Week 5 on, I’ll be posting them here as well. Here were the first four editions: Week 1, Week 2, Week 3, Week 4.
Each week The Schnoz Report will get you ready for the upcoming slate of games in the NFL, providing angles (both acute and obtuse, but never right) that you won’t get anywhere else.
As always, if you hate sports, especially football, then reading this post will only make you bitter and angry. Why don’t you go read about the Mr. Potato Head doll that was strung out on Ecstasy.
First Thing’s First
What we learned last week:
(-1.) First let me tell you what we didn’t learn last week. The Patriots are way better than your favorite team. But we already knew that, so it doesn’t count.
1. The Tampa Bay Bucs might not be as good as their 3-1 record. But wait, you say, they won AT carolina. Yeah but Carolina stinks (They’ve only beaten the Rams and the Falcons, two of the worst teams in the league). And look who the Bucs have beaten. The Saints, Rams, and Panthers. Hardly quality wins. I cant believe that one of these teams: the Bucs, Saints, Panthers, and Falcons, will be in the playoffs this year. Mediocre is a compliment to any team in the NFC South. That being said, the Bucs have a chance to knock off the banged-up Colts this weekend. The NFL is crazy like that.
2. Speaking of overrated teams, the Chargers are not very good. They’re just not. Coaching matters. And while we’re here, the Saints, Eagles, and Bears, all supposed NFC Contenders this year, might miss the playoffs. Packers and Cowboys in the NFC Championship game this year? Yeah, most likely.
3.In fact, while everyone is buzzing about the Patriots possibly going 16-0, don’t sleep on the cowboys. Next week the Pats and Cowboys play each other, and while the Pats will be favored, the Cowboys should keep it close. If they can somehow beat the Pats (and assuming they beat the Bills this week), look at the 10 games left on their schedule: home for MIN, WAS, NYJ, GB, and PHI … on the road against PHI, NYG, DET, CAR, and WAS. I’m not saying that’s a walk in the park, but in how many of those games will the Cowboys NOT be favored? The cowboys going undefeated? I’m not saying, I’m just saying.
4. There’s only 4 teams this year who have not given up more than 20 points in a game. can you guess 3 of the 4? I’ll tell you the answers in a second.
5. Look out for those Chiefs, they might sneak into the playoffs. They’re 2-2 with 7 home games left at Arrowhead. Their defense is playing well. They have winnable road games on their schedule against Oakland, Detroit, and the Jets. If they win 5 of 7 at home and 2 of those 3 road games, they could sneak into the playoffs, and even contend for their division, at 9-7.
Bonus: The 4 teams who have yet to give up 21 or more points: Tampa Bay, Jacksonville, New England, and Kansas City.
Angle(s) of the Week
There’s a few teams playing for their season on Sunday, even though we’re only in Week 5.
If the Bears lose to Green Bay in Lambeau on Sunday night, they will be 1-4 and 4 games behind the Packers. While the rest of their schedule isn’t very frightening, their QB situation is (not to mention their banged up defense as well).
If the Chargers lose to the Broncos in Denver, they’ll be 1-4 and in a whole heap of trouble. The division is still wide open, so to say they’d be done would be exaggerating things. But 1-4 sucks. Especially when you were 14-2 last year. Mar-ty, Mar-ty, Mar-ty…
A loss to the Panthers will put the Saints at 0-4. Isnt it weird how this season for the Saints is EXACTLY the opposite of last year. Last year we thought they would suck wind, and they were amazing. This year, we thought they would be amazing, and they suck wind. It’s like those warp zones in Super Mario Brothers that took you to level 8 from level 5-2, only completely different.
This has Nothing to Do with Football
An open letter to anyone who uses a public bathroom,
If you find yourself in a stall taking care of business and there’s someone in the adjacent stall also taking care of business, let’s make sure we don’t see each other afterwards. Is that too much to ask?
Once you hear me starting to wrap things up (the whirring of the TP roll, the flush, the zip and buckle) you need to hang out for a minute so that i can go wash my hands and get out of there.
Once I’m all clear, then you can make your exit. I promise if you start the wrap-up first, I’ll do the same for you.
There’s nothing worse than starting to wrap things up and then hearing the guy in the next stall doing the same thing. What is he trying to do, go for a simultaneous exit? Does he want a high-five at the sink? I don’t want to have to make eye contact with the person responsible for the sounds i was just hearing.
In the public bathroom, anonymity is king. So please, let’s take turns making our getaways and avoid all possible interactions.
Thanks,
The Schnoz
Fantasy is the New Reality
Every week I give you 3 fantasy players that I think will outperform their peers (using my ESPN League’s scoring system). This week we’re taking a break from that so that i can make an announcement.
After going 4-0 in my 4 fantasy leagues in Week 1, I have lost every single game. I am 1-3 in each league, for a total record of 4-12. At least I’m consistent.
No Ticket, No Problem
If your wife thinks the Sunday Ticket is something you get at the movies on the weekend, here’s what you’ll be watching on sunday.
CBS - The Big Eye has a doubleheader this week. The early games are scattered all over the country, with only the JAX@KC game being televised without HD. 90% of the country will see SD@DEN in the late game slot.
FOX - Your lone FOX game will probably be an early start. The only folks getting a late game on FOX (TB@IND) are folks in florida, indiana, new england, and new mexico. New Mexico? how do they decide these things?
If you’d like to take a peak at the NFL coverage map with your own soul windows, be my guest.
Household Chore to Ignore
Each week I’ll be helping you find something around the house that you should feel guilty about not doing because you’re watching football.
This weekend my wife is out of town, so I don’t even have to pretend that I’m thinking about doing housework. I’ll be too busy chasing my kids around. If you’re wife isn’t out of town, you’re on your own coming up with a chore to ignore. Feel free to post in the comments if you have any good ones.
Upset Specials
Each week I’ll pick an underdog that i think can win its game outright.
Last Week’s pick: OAK over MIA (WIN!)
Record for the Year: 3-1
This week I’m taking the Panthers to beat the Saints, despite New Orleans being favored by a field goal. Why are the Saints favored in this game? Are they due because they havent won yet? What if they really are that bad?
Pop Quiz hotshot: Who’s the only team in the NFL without a sack this year? Answer: the Saints. Give me David Carr and the Panthers to pull off the upset.
Mascot Wars
Let’s break down some of the great match ups between mascots this week:
Dallas Cowboys @ Buffalo Bills - What exactly is a Bill? is it a buffalo? Why do the Bills have a buffalo on their helmet, is it for the city or for the mascot? Could they call themselves the Buffalo buffaloes? My head is spinning. Oh and wasn’t Buffalo Bill a person too? wasn’t he a cowboy actually? This game will end in a draw, it will be a shootout, and there will be no winners.
Conspiracy Theory of the Week
This week’s conspiracy theory of the week is the “all you can eat”” special.
How foolish is this concept? Pay one price, eat as much as you like.
The very idea itself automatically makes you want to stuff your face. People who opt for the all you can eat special have on thing in mind: getting there money’s worth. After all, the more you eat, the better your value.
So now we have 340-pound teenagers waddling out of Ponderosa saying, “Hey Bill, do you realize I ate so many chicken legs that they only cost me a penny each?” Unfortunately, the next time that guy sees a penny (or a chicken leg) on the ground, he won’t be able to bend over and pick it up.
If I was king of the world I would immediately outlaw the “all you can eat” special. My motto would be “A portion for every meal”. In fact, I would make the phrase “All you can eat” a cuss word. It would be the equivalent of saying “Screw You!” to someone (or it’s R-rated equivalent).
Someone would cut you off in traffic and you’d scream out the window at them, “Hey buddy, All You Can Eat!” He’d yell back “Bottomless Fries, you Jerk!”.
That’s the kind of world I want to live in.
If Betting were Legal
Last Week: 11-3
Year to Date: 32-30
Last week i kicked tuckus and took names. 11-3 against the spread was good enough to win the week in my 35-person picks league that I’m in. Feels good to know that i can still pull crap like that out of thin air when i need to. Two solid weeks in a row? I doubt it. Here’s my picks…
My picks for Week 5 (your spreads may vary):
KC(+2.5), DET(+3.5), NE(-16.5), CAR(+2.5), NYJ(+3.5), ARI(-3.5), SEA(+6.5), ATL(+8.5), MIA(+5.5), TB(+10.5), SF(+3.5), DEN(-2.5), GB(-3.5), DAL(-10.5)
Final Word
I love the Boston Red Sox. I was born in raised in Massachusetts, and i have lived through some (though not all) of the disappointments of years past. 2004 was an amazing experience. So amazing, in fact, that i am hoping the Phillies, Cubs, or Indians win the World Series if my Sox don’t. Such a great feeling to watch your team win it all.
Do i want to see the Red Sox go through the yankees to get to the world series (assuming we beat the angels)? Not necessarily. I’m ok with going through whoever is in our way. Those yankee games take years off my life.
If I’m a bit distracted over the next week or two, you can blame it on the playoff baseball. I love it like I love italian sausage and birthday presents.
Go Sox.
-The Schnoz
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Monday, October 1st, 2007
hi. my name is prayers for blowouts.
I am officially the 2,349,627th sports blog on the wide world of webs.
But i think I’m the first to focus on the collision of sports and faith. and if it’s not, that’s ok too.
I’ve got an about page up right now and that’s about it. i’ll be tweaking things in the coming weeks and at some point i’ll make some sort of official launch.
there should be lots to talk about this month as kurt warner has returned to the role of starting NFL QB, Jon Kitna has reportedly converted 37.7% of the Detroit Lions roster, and Todd Helton might be headed for the World Series. Stay tuned…
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