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There’s plenty of churches out there that telecast their services on TV, but what would it look like as a sports telecast, complete with announcers and sideline reporters?
In order to thank you, dear readers, for your support of Prayers For Blowouts, we reward those of you who reach the 50-comment plateau with a chance to take the PFB Sports Survey.
Today’s spotlight is on reader Buddy Watts, who sees nothing wrong with brainwashing his children into thinking Ann Arbor, Michigan is an evil place.
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1. What number best describes the role sports play in your life on a scale of 1 to 10?
BW: I would say that sports in general get a 6 or 7. I am not a ravenous fan who keeps up with individual stats, trades, hair color, or pre-game rituals. However, when it comes to Ohio State football, I would put myself in the 10 category. When my wife and I first met, I told her not to expect to see me on Saturdays because I would be busy. We are married with two kids and that is still the rule to live by.
2. Rank your 3 overall favorite sports, college or pro.
BW: College football (see above), Golf, and College B-ball (who on earth does not like March Madness?).
3. What is the one team that you root for more passionately than any other, and is there a team that you hate, maybe a little too much?
BW: I am passionate about The Ohio State University. When our second child was born, his big brother walked into the hospital room and greeted him, unprompted, he sang: “We don’t like the whole state of Michigan, the whole state of Michigan, cus we’re from Ohio..OH, we’re from Ohio..IO..” Priceless!
My passion points directly toward my hatred….that team up north. I think we should do America a favor and sell Michigan to Canada.
4. Do you play fantasy sports?
BW: Yes. I play because I like competition and the camaraderie it brings. I haven’t won anything yet…yet! I will figure it out though. My first year I was rolling through my league, and then the playoffs came and I got tore up. I did not realize that the best players would be sitting out the last couple of games, which happened to be during that league’s playoffs. I lived and learned.
5. What is the most memorable sporting event you have ever attended in person?
BW: That’s hard to answer. My first OSU football game was memorable. Cleveland Browns/49ers Monday night was pretty exciting. Browns/Patriots playoffs when Bledsoe was in his prime. Browns/Oilers on Christmas Eve is probably the highlight. It was my first NFL game ever. They were playing to get into the AFC Championship game. The Browns lost 24/23, it was heartbreaking but a great experience with my dad that I will always remember.
6. What is the best highlight and/or worst lowlight of your sports playing career as a child or as an adult?
BW: The highlight of my sports career is when I was playing baseball in the YMCA league. I was a catcher, very similar to Johnny Bench if I do say. The championship game was played in Cooper Stadium, which is where the Columbus Clippers play, AAA team for Yankees. I hit one over the wall, it bounced once so technically it wasn’t a homer, but I was twelve, so I count it was definitely a homer.
7. If you could change one thing about sports, what would it be?
BW: I would definitely add a playoff system college football. Take the top 10 teams and let them fight for it. Give the top two teams a bye, until the third week. If you don’t like that idea, take the top 8 teams and you have a champion in 4 weeks, 5 if you give them a two week break for the championship. Considering Ohio State has had 50 days off between the end of their season and the title game, there is definitely enough time. A playoff would be sweet and solve any controversy. Who cares if the number 9 team doesn’t get in? Unless your 9 of course…
8. Do you have an opinion on Christian athletes who, without being prompted, talk about their faith in post-game interviews?
BW: I have no problem with it. The only time I have a problem with it is when the players “off court” antics are not consistent with their confession.
9. High school gym class…your favorite 45 minutes of the day or the source of countless nightmares and embarrassments?
BW: It was my favorite 45 minutes. Gym was the only class I took seriously. The only thing about gym class that I hated was the rug burns. For some reason we had a carpet gym floor…ouch! If you have never experienced the joy of playing dodge ball on carpet you need to give it a try.
10. Sports are often the whipping boy of pastors and clergy because so much passion, money, time, and energy is poured into them. Do you think this criticism is valid, or are sports okay as a diversion from the stresses of life.
BW: I swing both ways on this issue but the bottom line is that I think sports are an okay diversion. I think it was Brian McLaren who said that it allows us to get in touch with our tribal side. I agree. There is something inside me that needs to feel the struggle and tension that are present within sports. It may also be the fact that I enjoy watching athletes making something that is so difficult look so easy. It is like anything else in life, moderation is okay, gluttony is not okay.
11. If you had to compete against other FedEx employees, in which of these 5 competitions would you have the best chance of winning? 5-mile run, 18 holes of golf, free throw shooting contest, arm wrestling match, or a game of bowling.
BW: An arm wrestling match would be tough. We all throw around boxes for a living, so I think that might end in a draw. Run???? Yeah Right. I would have to say free throw shooting. I have a pretty good set up and routine. I think I could handle my own from the foul line. However, I know I could beat them all at Disc Golf…
12. What is your favorite sports movie of all-time?
BW: Friday Night Lights, If you have not watched this movie pay attention to Billy Bob Thornton and his pre season speech and his championship half-time speech. Can you be perfect? Good stuff.
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Anyone who (legitimately) racks up 50 comments can participate in the Sports Survey, and revel in the fame and glory that comes with it. You could be next!
Tiger’s leg had an ouchy. Tiger played anyway…and he won. Then Tiger got more surgery. Now he won’t play until 2009.
There, you’re caught up.
What we’re left with now is 20-plus tournaments and no Tiger Woods.
So the question is: Do you care? Will you watch more or less golf now that Tiger’s out? Or will your golf viewing habits stay the same? Let us know by voting below…
The PFB Sports Survey is a weekly feature here at Prayers For Blowouts where we throw a few sports related questions at some of the most notable voices among Christian authors, pastors, musicians, and zoologists to see if they like sports as much as we do.
Today’s spotlight is on Marcia Ford, who once dated a major league baseball player (and no, she’s not telling who).
1. What number best describes the role sports play in your life on a scale of 1 to 10?
MF: I’d say 5: If the weather is just right, and the price of gas is on the way down, and Jupiter aligns with Mars, going to a minor league game would be just ducky.
2. Rank your 3 overall favorite sports, college or pro.
MF: 1. Baseball. But these days, only live and in person. And I’m gradually becoming more fond of minor league play over major league. Too many production elements with televised games, and too many jerks in the stands at major league games. That’s it. No second choice, no third. Although I suspect that if I should find myself at a pro hockey game, that would become my second choice.
3. What is the one team that you root for more passionately than any other, and is there a team that you hate, maybe a little too much?
MF: It’s a toss-up. These days, it’s the Colorado Springs Sky Sox and the Colorado Rockies, though I’ll always feel an allegiance to the Phillies and the Yankees.
4. Do you play fantasy sports?
MF: Nope. Never had the time or the interest.
5. What is the most memorable sporting event you have ever attended in person?
MF: My first pro baseball game, at Connie Mack Stadium in Philadelphia in 1965. I could hardly believe that the same sport that put me to sleep when my uncle listened to it on the car radio could be so exciting in person. I’ve loved baseball ever since.
6. What is the best highlight and/or worst lowlight of your sports playing career as a child or as an adult?
MF: A bad call by my tennis coach in high school. It was an intramural match, and to this day the call she made smarts whenever I think of it.
7. If you could change one thing about sports, what would it be?
MF: I’d change two things: the DH and the horrible over-production of televised sports. I’d be much more inclined to watch sports on TV if they’d lay off the annoying pop-up graphics every 30 seconds, the constant whooshes and spangles and replays of replays, the chatty announcers who get so caught up in their non-sports-related stories that they miss what’s going on in the game, the repeated promos for the latest and greatest show on that network, and so much more that I fear for my sanity should I continue thinking about this.
8. Do you have an opinion on Christian athletes who, without being prompted, talk about their faith in post-game interviews?
MF: I wish they’d stop thanking God for their team’s victory and start thanking God for an injury-free game for both teams — or asking God for the healing of an athlete who was injured, regardless which team he or she was on.
9. High school gym class…your favorite 45 minutes of the day or the source of countless nightmares and embarrassments?
MF: I loved gymnastics, especially things like the parallel bars, but I hated any activity that involved choosing teams. I know that’s become such a common complaint that it’s almost a cliche, but it’s a valid complaint.
10. Sports are often the whipping boy of pastors and clergy because so much passion, money, time, and energy is poured into them. Do you think this criticism is valid, or are sports okay as a diversion from the stresses of life.
MF: Of course sports are an acceptable diversion. Any pastor who rails against sports is probably just wishing he or she could generate a fraction of the passion, money, time, and energy that sports generate.
11. If you had to compete against other authors, in which of these 5 competitions would you have the best chance of winning? 5-mile run, 18 holes of golf, free throw shooting contest, arm wrestling match, or a game of bowling.
MF: Oh my. Probably a free-throw contest, but only if all the other authors were total nerds.
12. What is your favorite sports movie of all-time?
MF: “Field of Dreams.”
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You can click here for an exhaustive (but not exhausting) list of everyone who’s been featured as a PFB Sports Survey participant.
If you’d like to be considered for the PFB Sports Survey, or know someone who should be, send along a name and email address to prayersforblowouts(at)gmail(dot)com.
“If I had a redo, I’d probably take Boston over San Antonio in the Finals (or maybe Detroit over the Lakers). I do think the East will win, unless LeBron somehow gets the Cavs back to the Finals. (FYI…Boston went 25-5 against the “mighty” West this year.)”
I’m not claiming to be Nostradamus with those predictions. Admittedly, they were pretty safe. But in a comment to my post, loyal PFB reader (and pastor) Matt Doan said:
“I can’t believe you are using your brillant blog to unfairly criticize the mighty WEST. Disneyland tickets on me for the PFB Family if an East team even wins a game in the finals…Wait edit that (my wife just freaked out) Disneyland ticker[sic] for you and your family if the Eastern Team wins the NBA finals.”
Well, well, well. What do you know? Looks like I need to start looking into some plane tickets…
1. Flopping - It’s one of the biggest reasons soccer hasn’t been successful in the US and the only reason to dislike the team-oriented, small-market-based San Antonio Spurs. I like my athletes to be graceful, strong and tough. Two out of three isn’t enough.
2. Horrible commissioners - This has to be the worst time for league heads ever in history. Roger Goodell is turning the NFL into a courts system. Gary Bettman took the NHL from a top four sport into a game you can only see on Versus. David Stern has wielded power like a mafia don, and Bud Selig is just a complete, out-of-touch moron.
3. Bandwagon Jumping
Through my sports-watching career, I’ve avoided the bandwagon. Only one of my favorite teams, the Green Bay Packers, won a championship in my lifetime. The Portland Trail Blazers have come close; the Oregon Ducks ended one season 2nd in the football rankings and were ushered from the 2007 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament by the Florida Gators and some overzealous refs; and the Chicago Cubs have always been the Chicago Cubs.
Until this year, that is. The Cubs are currently standing at the top of the National League. They have pitching, bats and the role-players necessary to end the curse. Many sportswriters have picked them to win it all.
And, as DJ Gallo points out, the fairweather fans are jumping on the bandwagon like it’s headed for gold out Californee way.
The worst thing is, I’m one of them.
I’ve loved the Cubs since I started loving baseball, back in the mid-80’s when the Cubs had a roster stacked with lovable stars: Ryne Sandberg, the jheri-curled Andre Dawson, a young Greg Maddux, Mark Grace and my favorite, Shawon Dunston. I’ll post a picture of Shawon any chance I get.
I loved the Cubs primarily because WGN, the Chicago-based, nationally-syndicated station which also brought a litany of mediocre sitcom reruns. Since Portland doesn’t have a team, and Portlanders are slow to cheer for anything out of Seattle, and the TNT-based Braves were boring, I followed the Cubbies.
The Cubs appeal to the common fan because of tradition. They have that great ballpark: the ivy-strewn brick wall at Wrigley sparks memories of a bygone era. Their nickname is ridiculously throwback, like the Knickerbockers and Maple Leafs. They wear classic uniforms and the iconic blue and red “C”.
But, nostalgia aside, I know I’m the worst of the Cubs fans. I might glance at the standings every once in a while, and catch a playoff game if they happen to make it that far. Since I stopped amassing baseball cards, I followed them religiously only once, and that didn’t turn out too well.
So, if the Cubs push deep into the playoffs, I’ll become the thing I hate most in sports.
To keep it real, I won’t be wearing my old dusty Cubs proback. And I’m hoping I won’t write a gushing blog entry when Lou Piniella finally lifts that weird-looking championship trophy over his rage-addled head. Now, if Shawon Dunston was still around, maybe brought on as an arm-strength coach or something, then maybe I’d be warranted.
In turn, I hope you won’t be jumping on my Blazers bandwagon next spring, when Sky Father and The Natural start slicing through the vaunted Celtics defense. I mean, you can buy the merchandise and cheer them on…just don’t start wearing Blazer throwback jerseys and bragging about how you “boycotted the Jail Blazer years”. It’s going to happen, you hear?
Since it looks like Tiger won’t be winning anymore majors this year, I thought I’d go back and rank the 14 he’s already won.
14. 2006 PGA - I don’t remember anything about this tournament. Apparently he beat Shaun Micheel by 5 strokes.
13. 2007 PGA - Same as 2006, except I vaguely remember some of it. I think Tiger wore red on Sunday.
12. 2002 Masters - Tiger’s 3rd green jacket, and the one I remember the least about
11. 2005 Open - Tiger’s 2nd British Open win at St. Andrews, he beat Scotland’s Colin Montgomery by 5 strokes
10. 2002 U.S. Open - A 2nd U.S. Open title for Woods. This was the tournament where New Yorkers kept yelling at Sergio to hit the ball.
9. 1999 PGA - The one where Sergio, then El Nino, closed his eyes and hit a miracle shot around a tree. Then lost to Tiger.
8. 2005 Masters - Tiger turns the 16th green into a Nike commercial. My wife and I were house shopping, and I saw it on a black and white television owned by the little old lady whose house we would soon buy.
7. 2000 PGA - Bob May forced a playoff, then Tiger chases his putt across the green and into the hole on the first playoff hole. Of all the Tiger celebrations, this is the hardest to practice in the mirror.
6. 2006 Open - Tiger’s 3rd British Open, and his first major after the death of his father Earl. I think he hit 5-iron off every tee that week.
5. 2001 Master - Woods win his 4th consecutive major and completes the “Tiger Slam”.
4. 2000 Open - Tiger’s first trip to St. Andrews as a professional, he dominates the Old Course and laps the field by 8 strokes.
3. 2000 U.S. Open - Second place was 3 over par, Tiger was 12 under. Unreal.
2. 2008 U.S. Open - Tiger, playing on one leg, goes 4 rounds, then an 18 hole play-off, then one hole of sudden-death to win his 3rd U.S. Open title.
1. 1997 Masters - The one that changed everything. Tiger shatters records, beats the field by 12 strokes, and wins his first Green Jacket.
So…Larry’s running and Jim wants me to Swim, Bike, Run and I just can’t handle the pressure of not being enough like the cool kids. So I’m signing up to participate in my first triathlon this September. It’s a sprint, so it’s not too difficult. 400-meter swim. 10-mile bike. 5K run.
I already swim a half-mile a couple times a week, so I’m not too concerned about the water leg. I ride my bike to work — about two miles each way — so that shouldn’t be overly challenging, either. But the running part? I hate running. Always have. I jog two blocks to the gym most nights, but that’s not exercise. It’s transportation.
So I need to start training for the running leg. Also I apparently need to practice transitions from one event to another. Is there a trick, Jim, to putting your running/biking shoes on real fast after the swim part? Do you wear your swim speedo the whole time? Can I swim in my bike helmet to save time? Are flippers frowned upon?
(Kidding about those last two. Kinda.)
I’ve never watched a triathlon live, so I have no idea how it works. I need tips. If you are an experienced triathlete, leave them in the comments, please. If you’ve never done a triathlon but just want to make some crap up, that’s cool, too.