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The things I hate most in sports are as follows:

1. Flopping - It’s one of the biggest reasons soccer hasn’t been successful in the US and the only reason to dislike the team-oriented, small-market-based San Antonio Spurs. I like my athletes to be graceful, strong and tough. Two out of three isn’t enough.

2. Horrible commissioners - This has to be the worst time for league heads ever in history. Roger Goodell is turning the NFL into a courts system. Gary Bettman took the NHL from a top four sport into a game you can only see on Versus. David Stern has wielded power like a mafia don, and Bud Selig is just a complete, out-of-touch moron.

3. Bandwagon Jumping

Through my sports-watching career, I’ve avoided the bandwagon. Only one of my favorite teams, the Green Bay Packers, won a championship in my lifetime. The Portland Trail Blazers have come close; the Oregon Ducks ended one season 2nd in the football rankings and were ushered from the 2007 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament by the Florida Gators and some overzealous refs; and the Chicago Cubs have always been the Chicago Cubs.

Until this year, that is. The Cubs are currently standing at the top of the National League. They have pitching, bats and the role-players necessary to end the curse. Many sportswriters have picked them to win it all.

And, as DJ Gallo points out, the fairweather fans are jumping on the bandwagon like it’s headed for gold out Californee way.

The worst thing is, I’m one of them.

I’ve loved the Cubs since I started loving baseball, back in the mid-80’s when the Cubs had a roster stacked with lovable stars: Ryne Sandberg, the jheri-curled Andre Dawson, a young Greg Maddux, Mark Grace and my favorite, Shawon Dunston. I’ll post a picture of Shawon any chance I get.

I loved the Cubs primarily because WGN, the Chicago-based, nationally-syndicated station which also brought a litany of mediocre sitcom reruns. Since Portland doesn’t have a team, and Portlanders are slow to cheer for anything out of Seattle, and the TNT-based Braves were boring, I followed the Cubbies.

The Cubs appeal to the common fan because of tradition. They have that great ballpark: the ivy-strewn brick wall at Wrigley sparks memories of a bygone era. Their nickname is ridiculously throwback, like the Knickerbockers and Maple Leafs. They wear classic uniforms and the iconic blue and red “C”.

But, nostalgia aside, I know I’m the worst of the Cubs fans. I might glance at the standings every once in a while, and catch a playoff game if they happen to make it that far. Since I stopped amassing baseball cards, I followed them religiously only once, and that didn’t turn out too well.

So, if the Cubs push deep into the playoffs, I’ll become the thing I hate most in sports.

To keep it real, I won’t be wearing my old dusty Cubs proback. And I’m hoping I won’t write a gushing blog entry when Lou Piniella finally lifts that weird-looking championship trophy over his rage-addled head. Now, if Shawon Dunston was still around, maybe brought on as an arm-strength coach or something, then maybe I’d be warranted.

In turn, I hope you won’t be jumping on my Blazers bandwagon next spring, when Sky Father and The Natural start slicing through the vaunted Celtics defense. I mean, you can buy the merchandise and cheer them on…just don’t start wearing Blazer throwback jerseys and bragging about how you “boycotted the Jail Blazer years”. It’s going to happen, you hear?

(This blog entry also appears at the Burnside Writers Blog.)