The PFB Sports Survey is a feature here at Prayers For Blowouts where we throw a few sports related questions at some of the most notable voices among Christian authors, pastors, musicians, and high school custodians to see if they like sports as much as we do.

Today’s spotlight is on Shaun Groves, who openly opines for the inclusion of competitive yoga into our sports landscape.

Shaun is a musician of fine music and a blogger of fine words. You can check out his discography here, and you can check out his blogging prowess at the Shlog or at CompassionBloggers.com. And get this: if you allow him to speak about Compassion International for a few minutes, you can book him to speak or sing (or bowl) for FREE. (email booking[at]shaungroves[dot]com for more info)

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1. What number best describes the role sports play in your life on a scale of 1 to 10?

SG: Does it have to be a positive integer?  Alright, if one is as low as you’ll let me go, then one it is.

2. Rank your 3 overall favorite sports, college or pro.

SG: Like all guys who aren’t athletic but must appear to be so in order to not be given swirlies on a daily basis, I feigned athleticism by playing Soccer.  So it’s a favorite because I can identify its ball in a line-up at least and can name the positions.  Um, and then there’s…uh…I like Soccer.

3. What is the one team that you root for more passionately than any other, and is there a team that you hate, maybe a little too much?

SG: I grew up in Texas and when I was a kid Roger Staubach played for the Cowboys and I had this coat with his picture on it and I’d wear it, sit on the couch on Sunday’s after church and sweat through the games with my Dad.  So I’d have to go with the cowboys.  If there’s a Super bowl I’d actually watch it would have to involve the Cowboys.  But even then, I’d mostly eat during the game and watch during the commercials and half-time.

4. Do you play fantasy sports?

SG: What happens in my fantasy life is really none of your business, man.  Let’s just say most of the time it has nothing to do with sports unless my wife’s wearing that cheerleader outfit.  I’m not sure I understand the question.

5. What is the most memorable sporting event you have ever attended in person?

SG: My dad’s a Texas Aggie and I’ll never forget being about twelve and going to the Cotton Bowl with my Dad to see the Aggies play.  Jackie something was the coach and some guy named Murray was the quarterback and I’m sure they were big deals but the big deal to me was having to stand throughout the entire game.  ”We don’t sit when the Aggies fight,” my dad said. And he gave me a little white towel to wave and we sang and yelled stuff for hours.  It was pretty intense but honestly the most fun I’ve ever had at a sporting event.

6. What is the best highlight and/or worst lowlight of your sports playing career as a child or as an adult?

SG: The highlight would be scoring my first goal in soccer.  I was playing forward and I remember feeling the panic of knowing I had a clear shot to make – just me and the goalie.  And I remember being amazed that I made it.  I couldn’t believe it.  And we had McDonald’s afterward to celebrate.  And the lowlight would be the dozen or so church basketball games I played in just because everyone thought I ought to.  I was very skinny and tall, still am, so I played post.  Problem was nobody told me what that meant exactly so I just spent thirty minutes standing under a net with my arms up, running to the other net and doing the same thing and then back again.  Not a good time.

7. If you could change one thing about sports, what would it be?

SG: I’d take away the money.  I’ve never understood why athletes, as hard as I know they train, get paid so much more than my sister the teacher does.  More than policemen and firefighters.  More than the president.  Seriously?  Makes no sense and seems to go to their heads before it goes to their bank accounts.

8. Do you have an opinion on Christian athletes who, without being prompted, talk about their faith in post-game interviews?

SG: Since I don’t watch sports I haven’t that so I don’t really have an opinion.  I do know of a couple baseball players who’ve had my music played when they go up to bat.  And  one was asked about why he chose that song and he shot straight with the interviewer about his need to remember Christ in order to stay humble in front of the crowds.  He wasn’t asked for that kind of detail but it seemed appropriate and I for one thought it made him very human and admirable.

9. High school gym class…your favorite 45 minutes of the day or the source of countless nightmares and embarrassments?

SG: I need to go take my meds.

10. Sports are often the whipping boy of pastors and clergy because so much passion, money, time, and energy is poured into them. Do you think this criticism is valid, or are sports okay as a diversion from the stresses of life.

SG: Yes.  Too many families revolve around junior’s touring softball team and too many adults let their disposition (and treatment of others) be determined by whether or not their favorite team won.

Like anything else, you know, in the hands of an immature person almost anything can be used against us…by us.

11. If you had to compete against other musicians, in which of these 5 competitions would you have the best chance of winning? 5-mile run, 18 holes of golf, free throw shooting contest, arm wrestling match, or a game of bowling.

SG: That one’s close.  I used to run distance.  I wasn’t fast but I could run forever without dying and that, I learned, passes as athleticism in some circles.  But I think I would have the best chance of beating them in bowling.  Bowling and Yoga were my P.E. credits in college.  Yes, I said bowling and Yoga.  I got credits for lying down on a mat and breathing deeply. Yes, I did.  If only there was such a thing as competitive Yoga.

12. What is your favorite sports movie of all-time?

SG: Rudy.  Aside from trading his sports car in for a minivan, that movie is the surest way to make a grown man cry.

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You can click here for an exhaustive (but not exhausting) list of everyone who’s been featured as a PFB Sports Survey participant.

If you’d like to be considered for the PFB Sports Survey, or know someone who should be, send along a name and email address to prayersforblowouts(at)gmail(dot)com.

Interesting piece in the NY Times on how Arizona Cardinals QB Kurt Warner juggles the roles of parenting 7 kids and leading the offense for an NFL team. (and no, the answer isn’t that he tries to turn the ball over once for each kid in every game.) He and his family also play a game where they choose a family at an adjacent table in a restaurant and anonymously pay for their bill. Pretty cool, actually.

My family and I spent the weekend up at a cabin near State College, PA with a bunch of friends. We had a great time playing games, going on a hike, playing golf, and just hanging out. Why am I telling you this? Because the cabin didn’t have interwebnet access, so other than occasional updates on my iPhone (because I didn’t want to be ‘that guy’), I was basically exiled from the sports world for 48 hours.

Here’s what I’ve caught up on at this point: 7 Top ten College Football teams lost this weekend, the Mets blew it, the White Sox aren’t dead yet, Broncos and Cowboys lost, and Brett Favre is immortal.

Sure, I could go to ESPN.com and read stories about what happened, but I like my news with a bit of personal opinion sprinkled in. So tell me, Upon Further Review, what did I miss this weekend?

Each week The Schnoz Report will get you ready for the upcoming slate of games in the NFL, providing angles (both acute and obtuse, but never right) that you won’t get anywhere else. As always, if you hate sports, especially football, then reading this post will only make you bitter and angry. Why don’t you go read about the West Virginia man who was busted for fanning a fart in the direction of a cop.

First Thing’s First

What we learned last week:

1. The Rams ARE capable of making it into the Red Zone! Can’t remember where I heard this first, but the St. Louis Post Dispatch ran an article this week noting that the Rams didn’t make it into the red zone until their 119th play of the season. That is abysmal with a capital SUCK.

2. You want my AFC notes in a nutshell? Denver and San Diego are going to make the playoffs, no matter how many points they give up this year, because of their crappy division. Buffalo is going to make the playoffs thanks to an easy schedule. Tennessee is going to make it in on the strength of their defense. Other than that, I don’t know nothing.

3. 41 points to the Cowboys notwithstanding, the Eagles can play some serious defense. They hit Big Ben so hard, they made him wish he was a motorcycle stuntman. If they can keep Westbrook and McNabb healthy, the Eagles are the second best team in the league right now. And if you consider how the Cowboys have played in the playoffs over the last 2 years, if my life was on the line in a PHI-DAL playoff match up, I’d seriously consider taking the Eagles no matter the venue.

4. Things I’m not sure of: How Oakland lost that game to the Bills up 9 points with 6 minutes left…How Lane Kiffin is still employed by the Raiders…How Carson Palmer could bungle the clock so terribly on the last drive in regulation in their OT loss to the Giants…How the SAME STINKING PLAY worked over and over and over (was it 4 or 5 times?) against the Patriots…How anyone is going to gain 100 yards on the ground against Minnesota this year. (Their D-line clogs the line of scrimmage like I clog toilets after dinner at a Japanese steakhouse.)

5. Here’s my Schnoz Top 9 after Week 3, based on who would win if these games were played today on a neutral field.

#1 – Dallas, mostly because of Tony Romo’s dimples.

#2 – Philly, mostly because of Brian Dawkins’ cool face shield.

#3 – Pittsburgh, mostly because I refuse to put 3 NFC East teams at the top.

#4 – The Giants, mostly because they are the Champs and are undefeated.

#5 – Tennessee, mostly because of aforementioned clogging prowess.

#6 – Denver, mostly because if they have the ball last, they’ll probably win

#7 – San Diego, mostly because they let Shanahan two-point convert them.

#8 – Green Bay, mostly because “A.J. Hawk” is a rad name.

#9 – Buffalo, mostly because they beat the Jags, who beat the Colts, who beat the Vikings

3 Predictions Sure to Fail

Here’s a new segment for the Schnoz Report where I take a look at this week’s games and make predictions sure to fail. If even 1 of these come right, it might be a sign that the Armageddon, as detailed in the Left Behind series, is about to begin.

#1 – The Vikings/Titans game will feature more points scored by defenses and special teams than offenses. Bonus prediction: After the game, Kerry Collins and Gus Frerotte will meet behind the stadium and giggle like school girls at the fact that they are one of 32 men in America who are starting QBs in the NFL.

#2 – The Detroit Lions defense will only give up 35 points this week, despite being on a bye. No seriously, a few of the guys on their defense will play backyard football with family members on Sunday and will get lit up by uncles, nephews, cousins, and grandmothers. Meanwhile, Matt Millen will sit in the dark corner of his bedroom closet and pick out his mustache hairs, one by one, wearing nothing but a Lions helmet and a bib.

#3 – Marion Barber will be tackled at least once on Sunday by the first defender that touches him.

This has Nothing to Do with Football

I’m turning 32 years old this weekend. I’ve gotta be honest, I’m enjoying the thirties a lot more than I thought I would. When you act like a doofus in your twenties, they chalk it up to immaturity. But something changes once you turn 30. Suddenly if you act like a doofus it’s because you still know how to have fun.

The other day I was crank calling people from an untraceable phone and saying things like “Hello. What should I have for lunch today?” and “Hi. I’m not a robot.” (the second one I did in a robot voice.) I guarantee if those people thought I was in my twenties, they would have been thinking, “grow up you post-pubescent loser!”. But because I’m in my thirties, they were probably thinking, “Heh. That’s pretty funny. This guy still knows how to have fun for an old man.” I’m telling you, the thirties are great!

I’m the Map, I’m the Map, I’m the Map, I’m the Map, I’m the MAAAP

Each week we’ll bring you the best of NFL Maps and Bible Maps. Who doesn’t love maps?

For those without the Sunday Ticket, here’s what games you’ll be getting on Sunday: CBS, FOX Early, FOX Late – in which 99% of the country gets Redskins/Cowboys.

For those of you interested in a map of the world as known to the Hebrews, knock yourself out.

Random Handicapping Factoid of the Week that is Actually True

The Atlanta Falcons have not covered the spread in their last 7 games against an NFC opponent when their previous week’s game was against an AFC team. (Last week they beat the Chiefs, this week they have the Panthers…lock it up!)

Caption of the Week

Congrats to Geof for his winning caption of last week’s photo (and not just because it was the only one):

“Ever since Bryan picked us to win the Super Bowl, we’ve been cursed. How do I get him killed for this? Can I throw my challenge flag and have that column overturned?”

Here’s this week’s photo of Lane Kiffin, from Monday’s press conference. As always, best caption provided in the comments will be highlighted next week.

Upset Specials

Each week I’ll pick an underdog that i think can win its game outright. Why? Because America loves an underdog, that’s why.

Last Week’s pick: Carolina Panthers over the Minnesota Vikings (FAIL!)
Record for the Year: 0-3

As my 0-3 record in this little stunt displays, I clearly have a knack for this. So take heart Browns fans, I am choosing your team named after a color to upset the Striped Tigers in Cincinnati this weekend. Derek Anderson is playing for his job, after all, and who can bet against Derek Anderson under those circumstances? Not I.

On a side note, if this Cleveland season doesn’t get better in a hurry, don’t the Browns look awful for not trading Derek Anderson at the height of his value this off-season and giving Brady Quinn the keys to the car? I realize you can’t foresee everything, but they did trade draft picks away to nab Quinn in the first round of the draft a few years ago. Then again, Romeo Crennel is a genius, so I’m confident he’ll figure this out.

Bible Character Who Should Have been a Football Player

This week’s BCWSHBAFP is Elijah, prophet of God and potential kick return man for the NFL team of his choice. 1 Kings 18 tells of the time that Elijah outran King Ahab’s chariot all the way to Jezreel, which is pretty impressive considering chariots are generally pulled by horses, which are generally faster than old prophets.

Now, I have no idea how far Jezreel was from Ahab’s driveway, but I’m guessing it was farther than 100 yards. If Elijah had the power to break away from the chariot in a long-distance run, defenders wouldn’t have a prayer trying to stop him from traveling end zone to end zone.

The only downside to this signing would be if God removed his hand from Elijah. After all, that’s how the Bible says Elijah was able to break the tape before Ahab’s whip. If God chose to let Elijah run on his own ability, he’d probably take a helmet to the sternum on the 10-yard line and break into 30 pieces of prophet.

(interesting side note on Elijah: did you know that an empty chair is always placed at Jewish circumcisions for the use of Elijah? He is said to be a witness to all circumcisions when the “sign of the covenant” is placed upon the body of the child. I’ve got 4 words for you: Worst. Afterlife Responsibility. Ever.)

If Betting were Legal

Last Week: 7-9
Year to Date: 26-21

Every week I pick games against the spread. This year I’m also going head to head against a PFB Reader every week for fame, glory, and expensive prizes.

Last Week I had a brain fart and went 7-9…even so, I could still not be beaten! Josh Bayne of The Practical Man fame, managed to eke out a tie on Monday night, but nothing more. Had Josh won, he would have received a pair of FM Radio pens. Instead, he wins nothing.

This week’s hapless contestant is Mike Quinn. Mike is from Illinois, so he should be easy to beat. He recently became a reader of PFB…let’s welcome him in by opening up a can of SchnozWisdom on his Illini face.

The spreads we are using are from the NFL Picks League I am in. Often times, these are off by a point or two over the official line. I’m not sure why, they just are…so please deal with it.

Here’s Mike’s inept picks for Week 4:

GB
CLE
NO
DEN
TEN
ATL
JAX
NYJ
BUF
SD
WAS
PHI
BAL

Here’s my (more accurate) picks:

If you’d like to go up against the Schnoz, send an email to prayersforblowouts(at)gmail-com. I’ll pick someone at random every week and shoot you an email back to let you know you’ve been chosen. (In fact, phone lines are wide open for Week 5, so one of you needs to man up and bring your game to the table.)

Final Word

13 people signed up for our NFL Eliminator game and after 3 weeks the number of undefeated teams have been whittled down to 6. Boyett, Martin, Hubbs, Geisbert, Goebel, and myself are the wisest of the wise. Boyett’s Team Apocalypse might have the edge right now considering he’s somehow squeezed wins out of the Cardinals and Seahawks, but it’s still early. Good luck to everyone in your suicide pools, picks leagues, and fantasy games. Oh and good luck to your favorite teams as well.

Enjoy Week 4!

-The Schnoz

Ave Maria University’s men’s basketball coach Ricky Benitez was fired on Tuesday, and the reason he claims he was given for the dismissal was for “the use of profanity in a scrimmage”.

(When asked by PFB for a comment, Allen Iverson said “Practice, man. We talkin’ bout practice.”)

According to the story, one of the players’ parents complained to the administration about Benitez’s language, prompting the university to ask Benitez to resign. Benitez refused to resign, saying, “This is one of the main reasons Catholic people have a bad reputation. They don’t abide by the rules in the bible.”

[He was probably referring to paragraph B of Rule 7.12 in the Book of Esther, which reads, "Thou shalt not fire coaches for swearing in scrimmage games"]

As for the complaining parent, he thinks there’s something else going on here, “It didn’t call for the man to lose his job…Maybe reprimanded, maybe fined or something. There had to be another agenda.”

When he was hired for the job, the administration said of him, “There’s no one else I have spoken with that has had as much head coaching experience and that has the winning percentage he has. I believe he’s a very strong man of faith, which will fit in well at Ave Maria.”

According to the big W, Ave Maria University is a private university with a Roman Catholic character and liturgical tradition in southwest Florida, founded in 2003 by Tom Monaghan, Catholic philanthropist and retired founder of Domino’s Pizza.

Here’s to hoping the Ave Maria basketball team can figure out this mess so their season can avoid the noid.

(h/t: Naples News via Deadpsin.com)

+ Stephen Altrogge has written a book called “Game Day for the Glory of God: A Guide for Athletes, Fans, and Wannabees”. You can hear a short interview with Altrogge, conducted by pastor CJ Mahaney, here. (h/t: Sovereign Grace Blog)

+ New England Patriots’ cornerback Ellis Hobbs wonders if fans are taking Sunday’s loss a little too hard (h/t: Deadspin):

“It doesn’t hurt,” Hobbs said. “It amazes me how people react. You would think that this organization hasn’t won as much as they have and been successful in the years that they have, and it’s a testament to how spoiled they are where expectations are that high that we’re not allowed a bad game. How many times has somebody had a bad day at the office? How many times has somebody missed a deadline and not gotten in the paper? Missing whatever, forgetting to fix their kids’ lunch?

“Even the kids . . they’ve got the kids out there, where I’m hearing they’re even crying over this and that’s a direct relationship from the parents down. Is it that bad? You’ve got people dying every day. This is a sport. And you’ve got kids out there crying over a loss in the regular season? It makes me look at it like, ‘Am I supposed to be crying?’ ”

+ Two-stepping Washington Redskin Jason Taylor suffered a freak injury on Sunday that could have resulted in nerve damage, tissue necropsy, and possibly even death. Sounds pleasant, no? The injury had to do with a blood mass in his left calf that required emergency surgery on Monday morning. Taylor originally planned on letting God do the healing work, until he was told that the surgery needed to be done ASAP (h/t: Mr. Irrelevant).

“I still was a hard head,” Taylor said. “Sometimes the things that make you good could be your demise, too. I was a hard head. I didn’t want to do it. I wanted to wait. I wanted to let God try to heal it up some. Sometimes, I guess you’ve got to help Him out.

“It needed to be done immediately. I wanted to wait a couple of hours. They said, ‘You don’t have a couple of hours. We should have did it an hour ago.’ It was one of those things where time’s of the essence and we need to hurry up and do this right away.”

The world of sports and songwriting haven’t always been good friends, Fogerty’s “Centerfield” notwithstanding. The Chicago Bears’ “Super Bowl Shuffle” was a cultural phenomenon, but it wasn’t exactly, you know, good. Long-time Cubs fan Eddie Vedder is trying to fix that. He’s written a song called “All the Way” about the Cubs chances to do just that this year. It’s got a nice blend of melancholy and hope that befits both Vedder and the Cubs. And the guy’s a legitimate, long-time fan. Sample lyrics:

Spiritual feeling if I ever knew
And if you ain’t been I am sorry for you
When the day comes with that last winning run
And I’m crying and covered in beer
I’ll look to the sky and know I was right
That someday we’ll go all the way

You can download the official studio version of the song for $.99 at Pearl Jam’s official store. Or you can get a bootleg of a 2007 performance of the song here.

In order to thank you, dear readers, for your support of Prayers For Blowouts, we reward those of you who reach the 50-comment plateau with a chance to take the PFB Sports Survey.

Today’s spotlight is on reader Geof Morris, who probably loves his local college hockey team more than you love your favorite college football team.

Geof Morris is a great friend of the site here at PFB because he’s a great friend of mine (bryan). He and I have partnered on numerous interweb adventures through the years including caedmonscall.net, derekwebb.net, squarepegalliance.net, and indieriver.net (see that, and you thought I was only into sports). Geof is a regular blogger, so be sure to add him to your feedreader of choice.

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1. What number best describes the role sports play in your life on a scale of 1 to 10?

GM: I used to be on the order of an 8.5, but then I went to engineering school and got too busy to keep up. Let’s put it this way: I edited a weekly sports ezine, TOTK[.com, for Top of the Key] from 1996-2002, and sporadically wrote a daily column in there called TOTK Today. I was sports blogging before blogging was cool.

But now, I’m probably a solid 6. I’d be a 7 if bryan hadn’t gotten back in front of me in the roto league the last couple days, though.

2. Rank your 3 overall favorite sports, college or pro.

GM: College hockey is my greatest love; my alma-mater, Alabama-Huntsville , has Division I’s southernmost men’s ice hockey program. I used to be a columnist for USCHO.com, I’ve traveled with the team [at my expense!] to be the color commentator for radio, and I’ve filled in as public address announcer. It’s … a passion. But since most people don’t know Hobey Baker from Oscar Meyer, I recognize it’s a niche. Major League Baseball is my #2, even if the 1990 Cincinnati Reds fade farther into my rear view mirror every year. [That said, I still have my unopened Wheaties box with the team on it.] The NFL is my #3, even though I’m breaking up with the Cincinnati Bengals after two decades—and no, not over Ocho Cinco. That’s a whole other column, though, about whether it’s okay to become a Pats fan.

3. What is the one team that you root for more passionately than any other, and is there a team that you hate, maybe a little too much?

GM: Well, if we’re talking college hockey, it’s my UAH boys and our chief rival, the Bemidji State Beavers. [Yes, the jokes write themselves.] But in terms of sports that anyone might have ever really heard of, I’m a Reds fan first and foremost and hate every other team in MLB save the A’s and Red Sox, purely because of how they run their organizations. I had deep-seated hatred in my heart for the Yankees back in the Gene Michael days, back when he fleeced Mama Marge, and they’re still there. Jesus keeps asking me to repent, and I’m … not so sure.

4. Do you play fantasy sports?

GM: I do, casually. I’m only in our roto league [that I roped bryan into a couple years ago] at this point, though. I think my peak was a roto league and fantasy football with the same group of folks. Simply put, I don’t choose to put my time into it like I know I could. It’s the same reason that I don’t gamble on sports—I could easily see it becoming an obsession, because I’m a narcissist and really do think I can whip you, so … yeah.

I’ve never won anything. I got to first in our roto league 2 weeks ago and resisted the urge to call bryan at 0615 to let him know. The Roto Karma Gods got me the next morning. Back to third.

5. What is the most memorable sporting event you have ever attended in person?

GM: Easy: UAH’s lone D-I ice hockey tournament appearance. We took Notre Dame to the second overtime. That game went longer than I slept the night before. I was delirious from driving from Huntsville to Grand Rapids in the previous 18 hours, and giddy that we might take down the #1 team in the country after being 10-19-3 in the regular season. That was the worst team I’d seen in my decade of being a UAH fan, until March … BOOM! Unbelievable. Night and day. Those guys were like Freddy Krueger—just couldn’t be killed.

6. What is the best highlight and/or worst lowlight of your sports playing career as a child or as an adult?

GM: I scored one, repeat, one goal in rec league soccer as a kid. I was slow but smart, so I played fullback and goalie—well, until the goals grew and I didn’t. I’m 5-11 now, but I was 5-7 in high school and like 4-6 back then. So that one goal was a lot of fun for me, even though it was a complete garbage goal thanks to the opposing goalie muffing an easy save. I felt bad for him as the ball was in the air, but not as it went in the back of the net.

7. If you could change one thing about sports, what would it be?

GM: The NHL’s instigator rule is absolutely terrible and has crippled the league. I think the NHL would have better ratings *and* better games if fighting came back.

Okay, so you want to talk sports that people care about … it’s probably the post-1994 changes to baseball’s structure: three divisions, the wild card, and interleague play. All are an abomination. Now that baseball is back on good footing, let’s expand twice more, go to four four-team divisions in each league, and kill Inter-League Play.

8. Do you have an opinion on Christian athletes who, without being prompted, talk about their faith in post-game interviews?

GM: Most of the time, it feels fake, expected. But we don’t know any of these people or their hearts.

9. High school gym class…your favorite 45 minutes of the day or the source of countless nightmares and embarrassments?

GM: I was pretty bad-ass at kickball, man. I played soccer, and I had a good leg. I also figured out that, if I hit a homer, I didn’t have to run hard.

10. Sports are often the whipping boy of pastors and clergy because so much passion, money, time, and energy is poured into them. Do you think this criticism is valid, or are sports okay as a diversion from the stresses of life.

GM: Both? It’s a great diversion, but man, any husband that ignores his wife because he wants to watch “the game” all weekend has his priorities out of whack. That said, TiVo may well save marriages, because hey … timeshift that badboy.

11. If you had to compete against other NASA guys, in which of these 5 competitions would you have the best chance of winning? 5-mile run, 18 holes of golf, free throw shooting contest, arm wrestling match, or a game of bowling.

GM: Mark it eight, Dude. [If you get that reference, you're all right. If not, well ... SHOMER SHABBOS!]

12. What is your favorite sports movie of all-time?

GM: As a UAH fan, I might be expected to say “Miracle”, because Kurt Russell’s son is one of our goalies. But honestly, it’s probably “Slap Shot”. [I would say "Field of Dreams", but that movie is no more about baseball than "Shawshank Redemption" is about prison---both are movies about life that use their motifs as setting for explorations of the greater social problems of the eras in which they're placed.]

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Anyone who (legitimately) racks up 50 comments can participate in the Sports Survey, and revel in the fame and glory that comes with it. You could be next!

reposted with permission from the Burnside Writers Collective

Ed Hochuli is the only NFL referee I know.

I might know the names and faces of some of the other guys, and maybe their names might ring a bell, but I know Ed Hochuli. I know Ed because for years my friend John would remark, “I love this guy. He explains the calls.” And he’d explain them in-depth. I know him from Bryan Allain’s Schnoz Report from last year, where he asked the profound question, “Ed Hochuli: Beast of a Man or Man of a Beast?”

Professional referees and umpires are mostly anonymous to the world at large. The sports fans who might learn their names probably take the effort solely in order to curse them. Because sports seasons don’t run year round, many have outside jobs. Nate Jones was a side-judge for Super Bowl XXVIII in 1994, the same year I was a freshman at Franklin High School, where Jones was also the principal.

But Ed Hochuli is well-known and well-liked, a consumate professional in a field akin to tax-collecting. I’ve never heard a bad thing said about the guy beyond a suggestion he might be using steroids, hardly an awful offense considering Hochuli doesn’t actually play football.

Until last week in Denver that is.

In a wild, wide-open game announcers were sure would come down to the last possession, the Denver Broncos faced a 2nd and goal with time slipping away. Quarterback Jay Cutler was hit as he threw, and the ball popped out, a fumble recovered by the San Diego Chargers.

Ed Hochuli was behind the play, and from his vantage point believed the fumble was an incomplete pass. He blew his whistle, ending the play.

It was clear immediately a mistake had been made, and Hochuli realized his error after an official review. If called correctly, the San Diego Chargers would have won.

But the play could not be overturned because of a rule which states a play is dead when a ref’s whistle is blown. The Broncos kept the ball, and Jay Cutler hit receiver Eddie Royal in the endzone two plays later. Rather than kick a field goal for the tie, coach Mike Shanahan went for two, and Cutler found Royal in nearly the same exact spot for the win.

Chargers coach Norv Turner was incensed, and this was his quote to the AP:

“On the last play, it was clearly a fumble,” Turner fumed. “Ed came over, the official, and said he blew it. And that’s not acceptable to me. This is a high-level performance game and that’s not acceptable to have a game decided on that play.”

The frustration is understandable, but it should be noted Norv Turner only believes in high-level performances when they don’t apply to him. He’s an awful coach with a 72-89-1 record.

From minute one, Ed Hochuli has regretted his poor call. He’s apologized profusely to anyone who’ll listen:

I’m getting hundreds of emails – hate mail – but I’m responding to it all. People deserve a response.

You can rest assured that nothing anyone can say can make me feel worse than I already feel about my mistake on the fumble play. You have no idea …

Affecting the outcome of a game is a devastating feeling. Officials strive for perfection – I failed miserably. Although it does no good to say it, I am very, very sorry.

Hochuli has also been disciplined by the NFL, which could negatively affect his chances of ever officiating another NFL playoff game. For a guy who’s been the head referee in two Super Bowls, it’s a tremendous professional hit.

I contacted Ted Barrett, who’s been a Major League Baseball umpire for eleven years. Ted founded Calling for Christ, a professional umpire ministry, and Blue for Kids. He’s also pursuing his doctorate of Theology at Trinity University.

BWC: Can you explain what goes through an official’s head after a bad call which directly influences the outcome of a game?

Ted Barrett: First of all, Ed probably got to the locker room after the game, looked at the replay and felt physically ill. To miss a call is a terrible feeling, regardless of the score. It will eat you alive as you try analyze what went wrong. To miss a call that directly costs a team a game is an official’s worst nightmare. The best way to describe this feeling is it hurts down deep in your soul. You feel like a failure and you know your family will be subject to ridicule, so you feel like you let those close to you down. I try to give it to God and try to see how he can be glorified by my actions. It is also a scary feeling because of the whackos out there who could try to harm you or a loved one.

BWC: Ed Hochuli has been completely remorseful regarding his mistake, and it doesn’t seem he’s receiving much forgiveness. Is it typical practice for an official to ignore a bad call?

TB: As far as no one cutting him any slack, fans have de-humanized us as officials. They have no regard for us as people and the emotions we may be experiencing. I hope people will recognize Ed is hurting and doing everything in his power to make it right.

I personally do not apologize for missing calls. I will recognize the fact I made a mistake but I work too hard to have anything to apologize about. I prepare myself to work and then give it my maximum effort. I feel terrible if I miss a call but I have nothing to apologize for. Officials who loaf or don’t care about their performance do owe people an apology, but this is rare at the professional level.

—

The media, for the most part, has been understanding of Hochuli’s mistake. Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, always the epitome of class, has been one of the most vocal critics, even if the game didn’t involve him at all.

Jones is right, though. Hochuli’s biggest mistake was blowing his whistle too quickly. But in a game where the end of a play can prevent injuries from late hits, calling a play dead at the right time is crucial. If anything, the NFL’s dizzying maze of autocratic rules should be at question. A replay could have quickly overturned the gaffe and San Diego would be 1-1, whistle blow or no. As is, Chargers fans should take heart knowing it’s a long season, and they still possess one of the league’s most dynamic young teams with Ladanian Tomlinson, Philip Rivers, Antonio Cromartie and the injured Shawne Merriman.

The biggest concern to me is what this says about our society’s penchant for hanging our contrite public figures. We expect our politicians to be honest, but we destroy them for admitting fault. We mock apologies and deride policy changes over years as ‘flip-flopping’. In today’s media, it doesn’t pay to take your lumps, to apologize for wrongdoing, because witnessing the downfall of our public figures is too sweet. As Ted said above, fans have de-humanized officials. But really, we’ve dehumanized everyone in the spotlight. Athletes like Josh Howard are boiled down to ‘spoiled brats’. People from small towns are dumb hicks. City-dwellers are snooty elitists. None of us are taking the time to figure out why.

Oh, but it’s not all bad. Blogger and Charger fan MJD took the first step in forgiving Ed Hochuli:

“No one was more upset about the call than me, I promise you. I was driving to a friend’s house after the game, and had to stop at a local convenience store so I could throw a child-like fit and kick inanimate objects. I said things about Ed Hochuli in the hours after the loss that could’ve gotten me arrested …

But knowing now that Hochuli feels so bad about it, it sort of takes some of the venom out of me. It’s hard to hate a guy who knows he screwed up and feels bad about it.”

At least that’s something.

10 Questions coming off this loaded sports weekend…pick a few and share your thoughts:

1. How much Ryder Cup did you watch this weekend? I caught some of Friday, more of Saturday, and almost none of it on Sunday. Kinda wish I had tuned in for more of it, but the NFL has quite a grip on my Sunday afternoon viewing.

2. Cowboys, Giants, Broncos, Titans, Ravens (2-0), and Bills. Those are your undefeated NFL Teams after Week 3. The Giants eeked out their win over the Bungles…ditto for the Bills, who scored 10 points in the final 4 minutes against a porous Oakland defense. My instant reaction is that the Cowboys and Eagles are the cream of the NFC and the Broncos and Titans might be the best of the AFC. Have you seen Tennesee’s Defense? Pretty impressive.

3. If Ronnie Brown was on your fantasy football bench this weekend, raise your hand (and then punch yourself in the face with it. If he was on your opponent’s bench, pump your fist with reckless glee!

4. The SEC owns 3 of the top 5 spots in the new AP rankings, but USC and Oklahoma remain at the top as they were idle this week. How did your college football team do this weekend?

5. In a related story, is Chad Gibbs alive after Auburn’s tough loss to LSU, or did he hang himself with toilet paper at Toomer’s Corner?

6. Moving to baseball…of this group, which two teams should be getting the golf clubs ready for next monday? The Phillies, Mets, Brewers, White Sox, and Twins? Anyone want to go out on a limb and predict a collapse for the Mets, Phils, or ChiSox?

7. Sticking with baseball, anyone got a shot to win their fantasy baseball league with 1 week of games left? I can’t even talk about how I did in the PFB Fantasy Baseball league at this point, but in my Roto Keeper League I’m in first place by a couple points over Geof with just 7 days to go. I’ll keep you posted.

8. Lance Berkman and the Houston Astros lashed out at the MLB for scheduling their home games at “Wrigley North” in the wake of Ike. “Major League Baseball has always valued the dollar more than they do the individual, the players and their families,” Berkman said.

9. What will happen first this week? Boo Weekley will sober up, Brian Westbrook will have the MRI on his ankle, or Lane Kiffin will get fired?

10. Have you ever been to Yankee Stadium? I’ve never been there myself, but I always heard it was a great place to catch a game…not to mention the history of the place.

Any other thoughts on the spots weekend, Upon Further Review?