The Schnoz Report: Week 13 2

The Schnoz Report’s coming back with another game by game breakdown of Week 13 in the NFL, with a few random thoughts thrown in.
The Thanksgiving Day Specials
Tennessee @ Detroit – If the turkey doesn’t put you to sleep, the second half of this game just might. Prediction: Titans 27, Lions 10.
Seattle @ Dallas – Things you will see on the Dallas sideline: 78 Tony Romo smiles, 29 T.O. smiles, an early 3rd quarter Jerry Jones appearance in which he makes facial expressions that may or may not be a smile, and Wade Phillips drinking gravy out of a Riptide Rush Gatorade bottle. Prediction: Cowboys 47, Seahawks 17.
Arizona @ Philadelphia - I feel like this game will be decided in the first 10 minutes. If the Eagles start slow, McNabb might puke Chunky soup all over the field and get himself pulled. We can always hope. Prediction: Cardinals 34, Eagles 24.
Random Thought #1 – It’s an interesting crop of QBs that will potentially be on the market in the off-season. You could have McNabb, Cassell, and Derek Anderson all looking for jobs with new teams. Potential suitors will probably include the Lions, Vikings, Niners, and Eagles. I could see Matt Cassell in Philly, Derek Anderson in San Fran, and Donovan McNabb reunited with Brad Childress up in Minnesota where they could have fun underachieving together for years to come.
Sunday’s Early Games
Indianapolis @ Cleveland - Once again the Colts win a game in which they were down 7 points. Like the Sports Guy mentioned in this week’s podcast, Indy could be going into Denver or San Diego in the first week of the playoffs as a 3 point favorite or more. And you know what, I’d take the Colts and give the points. Prediction: Colts 30, Browns 14
Baltimore @ Cincinnati – I’ve been high on this Ravens team for a while now. The thing about their defense is they are good for at least 1 defensive TD per game. Look at Ed Reed’s pick-6 in the end zone last week. That’s a 14-point swing in 1 play. This team is buying whatever newbie head coach John Harbaugh’s selling, and so am I. Prediction: Ravens 34, Bengals 13
Miami @ St. Louis – No team has scored fewer points than the Rams this year, and only the Lions have given up more. They’re being outscored by a league-worst 18 ppg, and they’re playing a Miami team desperate for a win to stay in the AFC Playoff picture. Tony Sparano, if your Dolphins can’t take care of business in this one, Principal Parcells is going to give you detention and smack you around with a big tuna. Prediction: Dolphins 28, Rams 17
Carolina @ Green Bay – 30-degrees with a chance of snow showers. 30 total points scored with a chance of Jake Delhomme interception showers. Prediction: Packers 24, Panthers 6.
Random Thought #2 – Crazy to think that of these 4 teams – Colts, Jets, Patriots, and Ravens – only 3 are getting into the playoffs. Who’s the odd man out? Right now I’d say New England, despite their cake schedule the rest of the way. If Cassell can do it against that Steeler D this week, I’ll become a believer. But more on that in a minute…
San Francisco @ Buffalo – 40-degree forecast with a chance of snow showers (though I don’t even know how that’s possible). 40 total points scored with a chance of blood showers from Mike Singletary’s head exploding when his team fails to score a touchdown on all 6 red zone possessions. Prediction: Bills 28, 49ers 12.
New Orleans @ Tampa Bay – Never thought I’d see the day where I got excited about every NFC Intra-Division game. Late Drew Brees pick seals this one for my new Super Bowl sleeper. Prediction: Bucs 31, Saints 27.
New York Giants @ Washington – They’ll be honoring Sean Taylor on Sunday, but the Skins will still fall short to the best team in the league. Prediction: Giants 34, Redskins 21.
Denver @ New York Jets – Just remember Jets fans, Favre is always a difference-maker…it’s just that it’s not always in a positive way. I can picture Baltimore going into New York in the first week of the playoffs and picking him off 3 times to stun the J-E-T-S. Not saying it’s going to happen, just throwing it out there. As for this game, Shanny keeps it close, but not close enough. Prediction: Jets 33, Broncos 27.
Sunday’s Late Games
Atlanta @ San Diego – Just when you’re convinced San Diego really does suck, they pull one out in the closing minutes to stun the Falcons. Prediction: Chargers 27, Falcons 24.
Random Thought #3 – If I made a list of jobs I would NOT want to have under any circumstances, “NFL Punt Returner” would easily make the top ten. Every time there’s a punt in the air I’m watching the descent of the ball with one eye, the oncoming defenders with the other eye, and trying to calculate if someone is about to die. Frightening job, I tell you.
Kansas City @ Oakland – Oakland’s just not good enough to win two in a row. It’s that simple. Prediction: Chiefs 30, Raiders 16
Pittsburgh @ New England – Like I said earlier, this is a huge test for Cassel. Flacco had a similar test in week 11 against the Giants Defense and failed. Aaron Rodgers threw for over 300 yards in Week 9 against Tennessee’s Defense, but couldn’t get the win. I see Cassell having similar problems in this one, with Lamar Woodley picking off 2 of the 3 INTs that Cassell throws. Despite Pittsburgh’s O-line issues, I see them holding on in a great game on Sunday in Foxboro. Prediction: Steelers 23, Patriots 20
Sunday Night and Monday Night Games
Chicago @ Minnesota – I say instead of 11 on 11, we just line up Adrian Peterson 2 yards behind the line of scrimmage on one side and line up Brian Urlacher on the other and let them go at it. You’re telling me you wouldn’t stop what you were doing to watch that? Prediction: Bears 31, Vikings 24
Jacksonville @ Houston – Do any of the Texans go to Joel Osteen’s church in Houston? These are the things I wonder about when I am completely bored at the thought of watching one snap of this game. Prediction: Texans 21, Jaguars 17
Random Thought #4 – Is Thanksgiving dinner overrated? Not the holiday, just the dinner itself. I’m not saying it’s not great year after year, it’s just that the hype is so big at this point, maybe it’s not quite as good as we think. Discuss…
If Betting were Legal
Last Week: 8-8
Year to Date: 90-87
Here’s my picks for Wk 13:

Enjoy Thanksgiving and Week 13 everyone!
-The Schnoz
When I saw Alexander 





I paid $500 for a ticket to the infamous Game 6 of the 2003 NLCS at Wrigley. Better known as The Bartman Game. I was there, but I was on the same side of the field (3rd/LF) and could only tell that the ball went down the line and then there was a lot of booing and beer flying through the air. I had to call my brother at home to find out what was going on. Then, the rest of that awful inning happened and it was like Wrigley was in a bubble that had no oxygen.
My sophomore year of college (97)- My dad, four friends and I paid twice face value (roughly $150) a ticket to travel to Pittsburgh to watch the Badgers get demolished in the first round of the Tournament. It was a magical season that took beating #2 Minnesota on the day before the brackets were announced just to get in. Looking back it was an absolute waste of money but absolutely worth it!
I don’t like to shell out a lot of money on sporting events or musical events. (I have been lucky enough to score free tickets to see the Titans play twice already this year though!)However, on the flip side, my cheapest ticket ever was to see the Texas Rangers play for $5…it was a double header AND the guys and I got to be on Fox Sports for taunting Pedro Martinez from the upper deck without shirts on. Priceless.
I think the most I ever paid for a sporting event was $130 for the Final Four a couple years ago. Totally worth it. Three games over two days and a whole lot of fun.
$40 to the Bobcats game.
I paid probably $30 to see the Dallas Stars face off against the St. Louis Blues in a Stanley Cup playoff game back in ‘94 or so. My first live hockey game. Completely worth the money.
Sadly, I don’t get to see many sporting events live, mostly because I’m a poor freelance writer who can’t afford pro-level tickets. However, as a Twins fan from Texas, I do plan to make my way up to Minnesota during the 2009 season for a long weekend/3-game series to pay my fond respects to the Metrodome (and its glorious blue baggie) before they tear it down. I have no clue how much this endeavor might cost me, but it will be worth it!
The most I ever paid for a ticket to a sporting event was $50 to go see Maryland play Tennessee in the Peach Bowl (now the Chick-fil-a Bowl), Maryland won 30-3 so it was definitely worth it; especially getting to heckle all the UT fans and their horrible fight song.