The PFB Sports Survey: Ted Kluck

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The PFB Sports Survey is a feature here at Prayers For Blowouts where we throw a few sports related questions at some of the most notable voices among Christian authors, pastors, musicians, and embalmers to see if they like sports as much as we do.
Today’s spotlight is on Ted Kluck, who deftly manages to slam Keith Olbermann, Kevin Costner, and the entire city of Ann Arbor, Michigan in the span of twelve questions.
Ted’s work has appeared on ESPN.com, and in ESPN the Magazine, and he’s the author of four books, including Facing Tyson: Fifteen Fighters, Fifteen Stories and Why We’re Not Emergent (by Two Guys Who Should Be). In 2009 he will be releasing books on topics including professional wrestling, the church, international adoption, and a collection of essays on sports from a Christian perspective. Ted has played professional indoor football, coached high school football, trained as a professional wrestler, served as a missionary and he speaks frequently to churches, schools, and writing groups. You can check him out here for more info, and you can check out his blog to let him know how great he is. He’s especially partial to the phrase “intellectual tour de force.”
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1. What number best describes the role sports play in your life on a scale of 1 to 10?
TK: I would have to say “9″ during the Fall, because I do have a literally and figuratively unhealthy obsession with football - literal because I can’t stop playing, and subsequently getting hurt playing, and figurative because I am unhealthily obsessed with my fantasy team, The Rusty Hilgers (see: fantasy question below). Probably about a “5″ during the rest of the year, with a spike again in April due to the NFL Draft.
2. Rank your 3 overall favorite sports, college or pro.
TK: Pro Football, College Football, Pro Boxing
3. What is the one team that you root for more passionately than any other, and is there a team that you hate, maybe a little too much?
TK: I root pretty passionately for the Chicago Bears, the team of my youth. I cried when Walter Payton retired, and I cried when they lost to the Dolphins in ‘85 to ruin the perfect season. And I’m not a crier. Living near East Lansing I’ve developed a nice hatred for the University of Michigan, but I’ve decided what I hate more than UM is the actual city of Ann Arbor, which I describe to people as “like one giant Starbucks.”
4. Do you play fantasy sports?
TK: Yes. I swear off fantasy football every year, and every year I play in one league, with one team, The Rusty Hilgers. Heading into Week 11 we’re 9-1 without my #1 pick, Tom Brady. Oh, and I refer to my fantasy team as “we” as though the players are real people with whom I interact on a regular basis.
5. What is the most memorable sporting event you have ever attended in person?
TK: My first NFL game, with my dad. We saw a preseason Indianapolis Colts game in the Hoosier Dome, where the Colts played Warren Moon and the Oilers. I was so excited I hyperventilated at the stadium. True story.
6. What is the best highlight and/or worst lowlight of your sports playing career as a child or as an adult?
TK: My best highlight was going, again with my dad, to Indiana University for a football recruiting visit and being toured through the facility, walked out onto the field, etc. The lowlight was any time I have ever tried to play basketball (this includes childhood and adulthood). I really suck.
7. If you could change one thing about sports, what would it be?
TK: I would get rid of the spread offense in college football - partly because it produces bad NFL quarterbacks, but also because I miss the I-formation. I’ve become addicted to the classic games on the Big Ten Network. I miss fullbacks. I would also get rid of Keith Olbermann - partly because he produces bad television…and partly, well, really mostly for that reason alone.
8. Do you have an opinion on Christian athletes who, without being prompted, talk about their faith in post-game interviews?
TK: I want to be okay with this, but in all honesty it usually ends up being cringe-worthy and prosperity-gospelish. I always kind of enjoy listening to non-Christian athletes talk about Jesus - Mike Tyson and Ricky Williams come to mind here.
9. High school gym class…your favorite 45 minutes of the day or the source of countless nightmares and embarrassments?
TK: Neither…I don’t remember a lot about gym, except the short, nylon shorts and the fact that little skinny guys could always do more pull ups than me.
10. Sports are often the whipping boy of pastors and clergy because so much passion, money, time, and energy is poured into them. Do you think this criticism is valid, or are sports okay as a diversion from the stresses of life.
TK: Sports are okay because they’re okay. They’re just something fun to do with other people. (Aside: I promised myself I would try to write this section without using the words “community” or “participatory.”) Some of my best friends in life have come from sports, and some of the best spiritual, gospel-sharing conversations I’ve had with non-Christians have come because of sports. And they make the church lobby just a little bit less awkward for guys. Plus, to quote Brokeback Mountain, I can’t quit sports.
11. If you had to compete against other bloggers, in which of these 5 competitions would you have the best chance of winning? 5-mile run, 18 holes of golf, free throw shooting contest, arm wrestling match, or a game of bowling.
TK: Definitely arm wrestling…or eating
12. What is your favorite sports movie of all-time?
TK: Probably Paper Lion starring Alan Alda and Lauren Hutton, which was made in 1968 and was a great football movie because it used real football players. Chariots of Fire is probably the best movie ever written about men and male issues. I also love the hockey movie Slap Shot for its authenticity, and the baseball film Field of Dreams, which in Europe is alternately titled “Kevin Costner’s only good movie, ever.”
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You can click here for an exhaustive (but not exhausting) list of everyone who’s been featured as a PFB Sports Survey participant.
If you’d like to be considered for the PFB Sports Survey, or know someone who should be, send along a name and email address to prayersforblowouts(at)gmail(dot)com.

Classic…as usual with Ted.
November 18th, 2008 at 12:54 pmwow, that was an impressive ability to slam people in limited space. I do have to agree with him on pretty much everything he voiced an opinion on, though…
thought Ted’s observation on being more interested in non-Christian athletes talking about Jesus was awesome - that rang true for me as well. I’m always intrigued by the seeker moreso than the boaster.
November 18th, 2008 at 4:19 pmLove for Slap Shot … yes.
November 18th, 2008 at 8:36 pmLoved it.
November 19th, 2008 at 3:21 pmKnow this is a couple weeks old now but for anyone who has an issue with Olberman, you gotta see Ben Aflek impersonate him on SNL. (www.nbc.com) It’s beyond perfect. Only seen Olberman’s show a couple times ,but i really don’t think Aflec was doing much of an exageration. I don’t like Olberman because of his show, and because he was always on Dan Patricks espn show before DP left. all he did was try to sound smarter than the average person and talk about the Yankees, (and also tried to dispute the fact that Ortiz was one of the most clutch players in the game). He’s a biased, (in every way), wind bag.