The PFB Micro-Sermon: where we take a Bible verse, add a dash of sports, and whip up a sermon in 100 words or less.

“But God said to Jonah, ‘Do you have a right to be angry about the vine?’ ‘I do,’ he said. ‘I am angry enough to die.’” – Jonah 4:9

All that time put in at Double-A and Triple-A. All those long bus trips and motels. He had endured it all and hit .310 with some power.

But in his first game in the bigs, on a deep fly to the wall, Jonah felt the tickle of the ivy on his neck and freaked out. The ball dropped. The run scored. The Cubs lost.

Yes, Jonah was angry about the vine. Angry enough to die.

Oh but Jonah, God wants you in Des Moines. Your AAA teammates need you, Jonah.

Keep heart! And work on your situational hitting.

The PFB Micro-Sermon: where we take a Bible verse, add a dash of sports, and whip up a sermon in 100 words or less.

Look, here is a town near enough to run to, and it is small. Let me flee to it—it is very small, isn’t it? Then my life will be spared.” – Genesis 19:20

Two Terrell Owens Micro-Sermons in a row?

You bet.

The PFB Micro-Sermon: where we take a Bible verse, add a dash of sports, and whip up a sermon in 100 words or less.

“Formerly he was useless to you, but now he has become useful both to you and to me.” – Philemon 1:11

The “he”: Terrell Owens. He’s taking his muscular physique and below-average hands to North America and the home of the tastier chicken wing.

The “you”: The Dallas Cowboys, who were not going to win as long as T.O. and his me-first attitude were clogging the vibes in the Dallas locker room. Now that he’s gone, look for Tony Romo to be the leader everyone expects him to be. (and look for Miles Austin to replicate T.O.’s production with ease.)

The “me”: The Buffalo Bills, who are now relevant in the AFC East again. Does this make them a playoff team? Probably not. Does it make them winners? Definitely not. Does it make them a story? Absolutely.

Dick Jauron, meet thy life verse.

The PFB Micro-Sermon: where we take a Bible verse, add a dash of sports, and whip up a sermon in 100 words or less.

“If a ruler listens to lies, all his officials become wicked.” – Proverbs 29:12

Attention: David Stern

Dear Mr. Stern

This is a warning for you. Don’t listen to lies. Don’t hang around seedy poker players, con artists, or crooked agents. Don’t surround yourself with baseball players accused of using steroids. Avoid Marion Jones, Michael Phelps’ anti-drug literature, and Chad Johnson in the off-season. Never again read the New England Patriot’s injury report.

If you do not heed these instructions, the ramifications are clear. All of your officials will go “rogue”, like Mr. Donaghy did.

Alright, gotta jet…wife #231 needs a foot rub…

the wisest dude ever,

Solomon

The PFB Micro-Sermon: where we take a Bible verse, add a dash of sports, and whip up a sermon in 100 words or less.

“I will pelt you with filth, I will treat you with contempt and make you a spectacle.” – Nahum 3:6

“Just living out the Bible,” the angry Eagles fan told me while chucking muddy snowballs at my torso, “Just fulfilling the Word.”

Are you though?

Before you do any more damage to my internal organs, consider your actions in light of the whole of scripture, not just one isolated verse in the minor prophets.

OUCH! That one hit me right in the sternum, you Raca. Yeah, I called you Raca. Go look it up punk: Matthew 5:22! Ow, my neck!

The PFB Micro-Sermon: where we take a Bible verse, add a dash of sports, and whip up a sermon in 100 words or less.

“But the Rabshakeh said, “Has my master sent me to speak these words to your master and to you, and not to the men sitting on the wall, who are doomed with you to eat their own dung and drink their own urine?” – Isaiah 36:12

Are you on the wall today? Afraid to commit to one side or the other?

Well, it’s time to get off the wall and commit yourself to something.

Some athletes, like Najeh Davenport, have doomed themselves by dropping their dung where they should not have.

Others, like Jorge Posada, have doomed themselves by placing their urine where they should not have.

But thankfully, none of them are as doomed as the men sitting on the wall.

It’s time to be responsible with your bodily waste and more importantly, commit to something! Get Off The Wall!

The PFB Micro-Sermon: where we take a Bible verse, add a dash of sports, and whip up a sermon in 100 words or less.

“The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” – Psalm 9:9

If you’re feeling oppressed, God can be a refuge for you today.

Maybe you’re being oppressed by a bad relationship. God is a refuge for you.

Maybe you’re being oppressed by a ruthless boss or an abusive parent. God is a refuge for you.

Maybe your girls basketball team was beaten 100-0 by a Christian’s School’s girls basketball team. God is a refuge for you too. In fact, he may even help you turn that scoreless performance into a Win by Forfeit.

A stronghold in times of trouble, indeed.

The PFB Micro-Sermon: where we take a Bible verse, add a dash of sports, and whip up a sermon in 100 words or less.

“Your father made our yoke heavy. Now therefore lighten the hard service of your father and his heavy yoke on us, and we will serve you.”— 1 Kings 12:4

The Texas Tech basketball team started off the season 5-0. They worked hard for their head coach Pat Knight, who doesn’t throw chairs or make “game faces” like his father Bob Knight did. Pat’s yoke is much easier, and his chokehold is much lighter.  People respond to that, you know?

Then again, Texas Tech has lost 7 of their last 13 games. Unlike in real life, sometimes in sports you need to physically threaten someone to get the result you’re looking for.

Do you need a little more Pat Knight in you, or a little more Bob? Think about it.

The PFB Micro-Sermon: where we take the verse of the day, add a dash of sports, and whip up a sermon in 100 words or less.

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” — Romans 5:8

To understand this verse, think about how Matt Millen treated the Lions. Even while he was still on the payroll, he was making the Lions more and more inept. He was a Lion, yet made them more terrible. God, on the other hand, was not a sinner like us, yet sent Jesus to die for us. God is the Anti-Millen GM of our redemption.