Just saw this headline on the front page of ESPN.com:

“McLaren unleashes after M’s loss to Angels”

Apparently Brian McLaren, the well-known Christian author who, according to his blog just returned from a trip to Africa, lost his cool with the media following the Mariners latest loss to the Angels.

While no audio of the tirade is available at the moment, Prayers For Blowouts did obtain a transcript of the anger-laden rant, which we are happy to share with you:

McLaren: “This is ridiculous! I am over in Rwanda, working with the fine people of Amaroho-Africa, and these Mariners get swept at home by the stinking Angels! They are 18 games under .500! 18 GAMES! Something has got to be done here. You want to know what’s got to change? EVERYTHING MUST CHANGE, THAT’S WHAT!

The Mariners have got to find their way again. I mean, this team’s payroll is $117 Million dollars. We can’t change that. It’s the story we find ourselves in. The problem is, we have the worst flippin’ record in the league. The WORST!

There’s no secret message here kids. It’s plain and simple. Win. We’ve got to win. These players might be more ready than they realize, I don’t know. But we’ve got to start winning now. We’re giving too many freaking games making the same stupid mistakes over and over again. It’s a generous orthodoxy, and there’s no place for it on the baseball diamond. NONE!

Don’t get what I’m not saying here, I don’t want any adventures in missing the point. Every player and coach is responsible for this, and we are all responsible for turning this around. And that’s the last word (and the word after that).

You can support Brian, and maybe help him calm down a bit, buy buying one of his books or donating to Amaroho-Africa.

You might also want to pray for Richie Sexson. If McLaren gets a hold of him, it might get ugly.

The PFB Sports Survey is a weekly feature here at Prayers For Blowouts where we throw a few sports related questions at some of the most notable voices among Christian authors, pastors, musicians, and telemarketers to see if they like sports as much as we do.

Today’s spotlight is on Brian McLaren, who was responsible for every goal scored against his middle school soccer team one season.

Brian has written at least 8 books on his own, and has co-authored many more. In addition to being an author, he is also a speaker, pastor, musician, networker, and activist. He was once featured in TIME Magazine as being one of America’s 25 most influential evangelicals.

He has two new books out, “Everything Must Change” (which is currently out of stock at Amazon) and “Finding Our Way Again” (which releases one week from today). He also produced a CD of original music last year called Songs For a Revolution of Hope. For more information, and to check out his blog, visit BrianMclaren.net.

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1. What number best describes the role sports play in your life on a scale of 1 to 10?

BM: I’d say I’m around a 2 most of the time, and occasionally make a massive jump to a 4.

2. Rank your 3 overall favorite sports, college or pro.

BM: College football, college basketball, pro football. I also like to listen to baseball on the radio for some reason when I’m driving.

3. What is the one team that you root for more passionately than any other, and is there a team that you hate, maybe a little too much?

BM: University of Maryland football and basketball, and the Redskins. I share most Washingtonians disdain for the Dallas Cowboys.

4. Do you play fantasy sports?

BM: No.

5. What is the most memorable sporting event you have ever attended in person?

BM: I was sick as a dog once in Johannesburg South Africa. In my fevered delirium, alone in my hotel room, I watched on TV a game of cricket. It turned out to be the greatest game of cricket ever played, breaking all kinds of records. It wasn’t exactly in person … but I was in the same city as the game, and it’s the only cricket match I’ve ever seen.

6. What is the best highlight and/or worst lowlight of your sports playing career as a child or as an adult?

BM: I played soccer in middle school. I believe our team was undefeated and unscored on – except for one goal that was scored while I was playing fullback. Embarrassing.

7. If you could change one thing about sports, what would it be?

BM: I wish we all played a lot more amateur sports instead of being spectators of the pros.

8. Do you have an opinion on Christian athletes who, without being prompted, talk about their faith in post-game interviews?

BM: I have mixed feelings. Sometimes it feels like a Disney World plug. Sometimes it feels sincere.

9. High school gym class…your favorite 45 minutes of the day or the source of countless nightmares and embarrassments?

BM: Somewhere in between. I enjoyed it – good camaraderie, good exercise, good skill development, maybe even some good character development. And lots of fun too.

10. Sports are often the whipping boy of pastors and clergy because so much passion, money, time, and energy is poured into them. Do you think this criticism is valid, or are sports okay as a diversion from the stresses of life.

BM: I think that sports fill a lot of functions for us socially and psychologically. They in some ways tap into our desire to belong to tribes. They provide nonviolent outlets for emotion and maybe even aggression at times. They build a sense of togetherness and belonging in cities or universities. They provide us with lots of metaphors for life – and of course, they provide pastors with plenty of sermon illustrations too. I think everything can be abused – including church! – but the best antidote to misuse is not disuse, but proper use, as the old saying goes. So I’m all for sports being enjoyed in every good way.

11. If you had to compete against other writers, in which of these 5 competitions would you have the best chance of winning? 5-mile run, 18 holes of golf, free throw shooting contest, arm wrestling match, or a game of bowling.

BM: The truth is, I’d be the best at bass fishing! I think I’d be a sure loser for all the ones you’ve listed. My golf game is pure comedy. I’m incredibly inconsistent in free throws. I bowl worse than Barack Obama. I might survive a 5-mile run, but wouldn’t win it.

12. What is your favorite sports movie of all-time?

BM: Remember the Titans was great.

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You can click here for an exhaustive (but not exhausting) list of everyone who’s been featured as a PFB Sports Survey participant.

If you’d like to be considered for the PFB Sports Survey, or know someone who should be, send along a name and email address to prayersforblowouts(at)gmail(dot)com.