Need some inspiration on the last Friday in May? Then please do yourself a favor and watch DJ Gregory’s story.

I know 12 minutes is an eternity in internet video time, but seriously, this one will move and inspire you.

What: Shell Houston Open

When: Houston I suppose

Can I play there: Blah, blah blah. Who cares, it’s almost Masters Week!

So starting a bit early, what is your favorite Masters memory? For me, it was having the misfortune of shopping for a home on the Sunday of the 2005 Masters. We were inside some old woman’s house and I asked if I could turn on her TV to check the scores. This was the first thing I saw…..

Luckily we made it back to Tricia’s apartment in time for me to see the 18th hole, and the playoff hole. So what’s your favorite Augusta memory?

What: Northern Trust Open

Where: Riviera Country Club

Can I Play There: What part of Country Club do you not understand.

What To Watch For: Ryo Ishikawa, the 17-year-old Japanese phenom who in 2008 became the youngest player to crack the top 100 world rankings.

Who Will Win: Probably not defending champion Phil Mickelson, who isn’t very good at golf right now. How about a surprise pick, the gritty little Bruin, Corey Pavin.

Tiger Watch: According to Mark O’Mera, Woods is close to 100% and better than ever. It is possible Tiger will play in next week’s Match Play event, if so, we’ll know by this Friday.

Chad Watch: According to Golf Digest, I played the 22nd toughest golf course in the United States this past weekend, Silver Lakes, in my hometown of Glencoe, Alabama. I played OK, but somehow turned an 81 into an 86. My swing has been a little iffy so far in 2009, so I’ve decided to experiment with the Stack and Tilt this week. I’ll let you know how it goes next week.

I have nothing. Nothing to do. Nothing to care about. Nothing.

Auburn was bad this year, very bad, and I have no bowl game to look forward to. Sure there is a coaching search and recruiting, but those just seem to depress me more after a bad season. The Tigers are playing basketball, but they aren’t very good either, and when it comes to hoops, I am as fair weather as they get.

I want to play golf. I brought my clubs in last night and cleaned them. They look great, but I have no time to use them. The sun has set by the time I get off work, and weekends this time of year are reserved for shopping and decorating and parties and other things besides golf.

Sure there’s pro sports, but if I’m being honest with you, and I have no reason not to be, then I’d tell you missing every NBA, MLB, NHL and NFL game from now till Kingdom Come would not upset me. I do enjoy watching golf, but they aren’t playing now, and even if they were, Tiger is still rehabbing his knee.

I tried to pick a soccer team to follow. After reading Nick Hornby’s Fever Pitch I became fascinated by the madness of it all. I keep up with Celtic FC, but living an ocean away makes it hard to really get in to it. I have watched a few games at work on a pirated feed from some Arab network. Did you know the Arabic word for goal is قصد

But January will be here soon, and my weekends will be spent playing cold golf. Then the grass will start to grow, and flowers will bloom, and Tiger will return to the Masters. And before long I’ll be back in Jordan-Hare Stadium, cheering on my Tigers with their new coach. But for now, I’m kind of bored.

Dear U.S. Ryder Cup Team,

We don’t care if you lose.

No seriously, we don’t care.

Do we want you to play well and represent our country by playing great golf? Of course. Do we want you to beat the Europeans? Yes, we definitely do. Are we going to lose any sleep if you get beat? Nope, not even a wink.

So listen, just go out there and have fun. While you ARE representing our country, you ARE NOT carrying the hopes and cares of all the country on your shoulders. That’s Barack Obama’s job, from what i’ve been told. You’re just playing golf.

So before you go out there and play against those anti-dentite Brits, I want you all to consider losing. Think about it. Ingest it. Digest it. Poop it out. And realize, it’s not a big deal. If you lose, your lives will go on. You’ll still be great golfers making ridiculous amounts of money for hitting a small ball into a slightly bigger hole. You’ll still have beautiful wives, great families, and no man-boobs. (Well, except for you Phil, but your wife is extra pretty, so it evens out.) And unless the entire slate of college and pro football games get canceled this weekend, no one will be talking about your play on Monday anyway.

In conclusion, please play well and have a good time out there, knowing that we are OK if you lose. Really, we don’t care. I’m serious. Just have fun. Really. Go on now…go play golf and have fun. Let us know how it turns out!

Sincerely,

Bryan Allain of Prayers For Blowouts
(and the other commenters who approve of this message)

a few thoughts on golf on a gorgeous friday in the Northeastern part of the country…

+ Fred Funk spoke at a Christian Breakfast on Tuesday morning, covering topics from wearing a skirt during the skins game to how he avoided Sugar Ray Leonard in the boxing ring. He also spoke on his faith, saying that the time he spent with devout Christians as a young golf pro helped him stay committed to his faith. Jim Faber has a full write up at islandpacket.com.

+ My friend Chad Gibbs, who writes for Burnside, plays golf with a bunch of friends in an unofficial league they refer to as Two Majors. They’ve got a website set up for themselves and everything, it’s pretty amusing. Their first major is tomorrow at the Legislator Course in Prattville, AL. I think there’s a few tickets left if you want to head out to the course and heckle some amateur golfers.

+ last year i played about 6 rounds, an took 8-10 lessons. The pro we were learning from was great, and I learned some valuable things, but I don’t think I’m going to be taking any lessons this year. I just feel like Golf Teachers are trying to get you to have the perfect swing, which is nice I guess, but it doesn’t translate directly to lower scores. I’ve always had a decent swing, and yet I’ve never broken 90 (I’ve shot 90 twice). I’ve decided that what I want is a decent, repeatable swing. When I’m 155 yards from the green and I’m standing over the ball with my 7-iron, I don’t care if my swing is technically sound. I just want to get the ball on the green. So instead of putting in extra time honing the intricacies of my swing, I’m going to play more, and trust my swing a bit more. Will it work? Probably not. But if I break 90 this year, you can bet you’ll hear about it.

+ One last thought…I’ve noticed a bit of a generation gap when it comes to how golf fans feel about Tiger Woods. Seems that people my age (in their 20s and 30s) really like Tiger and root for him all the time. But the generation about 20 years older (folks in their late 40s and 50s) don’t like Tiger very much. They find him arrogant, cocky, and moody. It cracks me up though, because these people often act the same way that Tiger does on the golf course. For some reason, it’s okay for them to be disgusted with themselves for missing a put or hitting a bad shot, but when Tiger does it, he’s being a jerk. Has anyone else noticed this? How do you feel about Tiger and What age group are you in, I’m curious to know.