The PFB Sports Survey is a feature here at Prayers For Blowouts where we throw a few sports related questions at some of the most notable voices among Christian authors, pastors, musicians, and candy-stripers to see if they like sports as much as we do.

Today’s spotlight is on Jordan Green, who still needs to explain to us what ‘pickleball’ is.

Jordan Green lives in Phoenix, Arizona.  He is the editor of Burnside Writers Collective and of The Ankeny Briefcase, an infrequently published compilation of short stories from unpublished writers, co-edited by Donald Miller.  Besides editing, Jordan Green has also worked as a courier, a barista at a large coffee purveyor, and as a US Army Counterintelligence Agent, among other things. He occasionally posts here as a PFB Contributor, and more frequently at The Burnside Writers Blog.

——————————

1. What number best describes the role sports play in your life on a scale of 1 to 10?

JG: 9.  It’s not the real sports, and it’s not even fantasy sports.  It’s the magical world of WhatIfSports.com that has me hooked.  I have four teams overall: three college basketball teams in Hoops Dynasty and the Portland Tall Firs in Hardball Dynasty.  A few months ago, three of my teams suffered devastating defeats all within a week, and I realized I was getting a little too upset over computer-generated athletes and play-by-plays.

2. Rank your 3 overall favorite sports, college or pro.

JG: College football is my favorite.  Ducks football on Saturdays has me glued to the television when I’m not grilling meats or opening beer.  College and pro basketball are next.  You can’t beat the NCAA Tournament, and the Trail Blazers are the only professional sports team within three hours drive. (apologies to the Portland Lumberjax of the NLL, but who are you kidding?) [editor's note: Jordan took the Sports Survey when he was living in Portland, OR]

3. What is the one team that you root for more passionately than any other, and is there a team that you hate, maybe a little too much?

JG: I’ve rooted for the Blazers the longest, but Oregon football draws my most ardent support.  It’s just the nature of college football…the whole pageantry behind getting up on Saturday, buying the kielbasa at Otto’s on Woodstock, and cracking that first Terminal Gravity at kickoff.  College football is so fun to live and die by.

Hating a team is really all about haves and have-nots.  Truly hating a team is about envy: you have to suffer defeat repeatedly at their hands, and region factors in heavily.  The Los Angeles Lakers used to fit that description, but I think the team I hate most is the Washington Huskies.  Growing up, the Huskies were dominant on Saturdays, and the Ducks were awful.  Nowadays, the Ducks are better, but the Huskies still sit up there in their overrated city, wearing their stupid purple and gold, hiring coaches like Rich Neuheisel, and recruiting players like this.

4. Do you play fantasy sports?

JG: Besides the aforementioned WhatIfSports, I do play fantasy football.  I typically have one team with the league I play in with my buddies, and one for the Burnside League.  I’ve never won a championship, but I always finish well.  I’m like the Utah Jazz of fantasy football.

5. What is the most memorable sporting event you have ever attended in person?

JG: Franklin High School versus Benson High School, mens soccer.  It was my junior year, and we were tied when our best player made this incredible run, weaving through four defenders and popping in the winning goal with 5 seconds left to play.

6. What is the best highlight and/or worst lowlight of your sports playing career as a child or as an adult?

JG: I was obsessed with Little League baseball, and I always thought I was a good player.  It all culminated with two years on the All-Star team.

The problem was, my coach didn’t agree.  In two years and 6 games, I played three and a half innings in left field.  He even put me in the bullpen to warm up and pitch, then brought in a kid completely cold in relief.  I gave up baseball after the second year.  And while I don’t think the coach was warranted in leaving me out, I wish I’d stuck with it…summers at the ballpark were beautiful.

7. If you could change one thing about sports, what would it be?

JG: This may sound weird, but I wish they’d restructure the NHL.  Cut it down to 16 teams focused around major hockey-centric cities, boil the talent pool down so every line is spectacular, and I’d be hooked.

I’d divide it up like this.  East Coast: New Jersey, Boston, New York Rangers, New York, Philadelphia.  Northeast: Montreal, Toronto, Pittsburgh, Chicago.  Midwest: Detroit, Minnesota, Edmonton, Calgary.  West Coast: Vancouver, Los Angeles, San Jose, Colorado.  That’s all…problem solved.  This is a Big 4 sport once again.

8. Do you have an opinion on Christian athletes who, without being prompted, talk about their faith in post-game interviews?

JG: I would hope it would come from a good heart.  I tend to think evangelism is best done with personal relationships, but an athlete who’s a believer should be free to communicate the largest part of his or her life.

9. High school gym class…your favorite 45 minutes of the day or the source of countless nightmares and embarrassments?

JG: Not my favorite, but I always appreciated a good game of pickleball, team handball, and, later, hoops.

10. Sports are often the whipping boy of pastors and clergy because so much passion, money, time, and energy is poured into them. Do you think this criticism is valid, or are sports okay as a diversion from the stresses of life.

JG: The values team sports teach us are immeasurable, but there is a danger zone.  For one, I think the horrors of nationalism are very apparent in fandom.  Look at the violence between hooligans in England, or the crazy pride in SEC football.  Or, alternately, look at my disparaging comments toward Seattleites above.  The best part of sports is illustrated by boxers who hug at the end of a bout, or NHL players shaking hands at the end of a playoff round…these guys are killing each other non-stop, but in the end they know it’s a game.

11. If you had to compete against other writers/editors, in which of these 5 competitions would you have the best chance of winning? 5-mile run, 18 holes of golf, free throw shooting contest, arm wrestling match, or a game of bowling.

JG: Wii Bowling or real bowling?  I once rolled a 243 in one of those, and I won’t say which.

I’m not particularly strong, but I’m good at arm wrestling.  I had a manager at a restaurant where I worked who was some kind of champion.  It’s all about technique.

12. What is your favorite sports movie of all-time?

JG: The Natural.  That music gets me going.
——————————

You can click here for an exhaustive (but not exhausting) list of everyone who’s been featured as a PFB Sports Survey participant.

If you’d like to be considered for the PFB Sports Survey, or know someone who should be, send along a name and email address to prayersforblowouts(at)gmail(dot)com.

I teased this last week, and now the time has come to start unveiling the writers who will be joining me as contributors on the site.

When I decided to expand the blog, I targeted writers who I respected for their writing skillz, the books they had authored, the average number of greens they hit in regulation, the connections they had, the number of bible verses they had memorized, and whether or not they could beat the crap out of me.

The Oceanic Six Authors that made the cut are money, and I look forward to collaborating with them to make Prayers For Blowouts a better experience for you, the reader. Some of them will post more than others, and that’s okay by me. I’ve not given them a mandate for how often I’d like them to contribute, I’ve only asked that when they have something to vent or ramble on about sports, that they do it here.

I decided to introduce the writers to y’all alphabetically, so here’s the second pair. I shared the first two on Wednesday and I’ll share the final two on Friday. Please join me in welcoming them to the team.

——————————

Chad Gibbs is the comedy editor for the Burnside Writers Collective and author of The Humblest of Beginnings, which cannot be purchased in stores, because it has yet to be published. When not writing unpublishable books, Chad spends most of his time playing golf and working on his second book, which probably won’t be published either.

——————————

Jordan Green used to live in Portland, Oregon, but now resides in Phoenix, Arizona with his wife Mindy. He is the editor of Burnside Writers Collective and of The Ankeny Briefcase, a compilation of short stories from unpublished writers which was co-edited by Donald Miller. Besides editing, Jordan Green has also worked as a courier, a barista at a large coffee purveyor, and as a US Army Counterintelligence Agent, among other things. He is an unabashed fan of the University of Oregon, the Portland Trailblazers, and WhatIfSports.com.