Last Week the Schnoz was 2-2 in his playoff picks, bringing him to 3-5 for the playoffs. How about finishing with 3 good picks to go 6-5? (don’t count on it)

Sunday’s games

Philadelphia Eagles (-4) at the Arizona Cardinals

+ I mentioned this last week, but if Tebow and Warner win the first two major sports championships of 2009, this could be the year of the Christian athlete. (If this does happen and I’m Michael Chang, I’m showing up at the Australian Open and begging for an invitation.)

+ This Eagles team is playing such inspired ball right now, I don’t see how they can be beaten. Then again, I didn’t see how the Panthers weren’t going to run all over the Cards last week either. Does Donovan McNabb have a “Jake Delhomme Crapfest” game in him? Absolutely. I’ve seen him throw at WRs feet too many times to think he’s immune to a stinker. But right now he’s playing like there’s a bowl of steaming hot Chunky soup on the line, and I think he’ll come ready to eat play.

+ Cardinals fans were LOUD in their first round game against Atlanta. Expect to see an equally boisterous crowd on Sunday afternoon. If the Eagles can go up by 10 points in the first quarter and take the fans out of it, Jim Johnson will unleash the defensive equivalent of Hades on the Cards and it might be over. But if the Cards can take an early lead or at least hang close to Philly well into the second quarter, I can see them gaining confidence and momentum that they can hang with the favored Eagles. Andy Reid isn’t known for his mental prowess in the last few minutes of a game…a close contest down the stretch could favor the Cards.

+ Not sure if this is true or not, but we received an anonymous tip this week that Kurt Warner could be overheard praying loudly in his bedroom, saying, “Dear God, please confuse Jim Johnson’s mind on Sunday. Make the synapses in his brain like that of the people who tried to build the tower of Babel.” Brenda Warner refused to comment…

+ I’m torn with this pick. I’m not an Eagles fan at all, so I’d like to see them lose. But I’ve picked against them two straight games and they’ve won. Do I pick the Eagles and hope the jinx holds? Or do I pick against them again because I think the Cardinals are going to win? Maybe I should I predict a tie in honor of Donovan McNabb’s brilliance? I think I’ll go with my oft-wrong gut…

The Prediction: Cardinals 28, Eagles 20 (sorry, I can’t help myself)

—

Baltimore Ravens (+6) at the Pittsburgh Steelers

some things to consider…

+ Joe Flacco is dangerously close to possessing a unibrow. That’s definitely something to consider.

+ From what I’ve been reading, sounds like Ravens Defensive Coordinator Rex Ryan is going to take the New York Jets Head Coaching job once the Ravens are done. If Ray Lewis catches wind of this during his one of his “I’m a crazy dude” spells, he might try to eat Ryan’s brain. Keep an eye on that one…

+ Forecast for Sunday evening in Pittsburgh? It will be in the 20s with an 80% chance of snow. Gotta love that.

+ The Ravens had no answer for Chris Johnson’s speed last week. This week they play a fast, but not AS FAST, Willie Parker. Just how old is this Raven Defense? I bet we’ll find out. Expect a healthy dose of Willie Parker and company for 4 straight quarters.

+ Head to Head in their last 16 games against each other, these teams are both 8-8.

+ Will this game feature the 2 best safeties in the game in Ed Reed and Troy Polamalu? I think so. Which one would you rather have on your team? I’d take Reed.

The Prediction: Steelers 26, Ravens 21

***

Potential Super Bowl Matchups

let’s take a quick look at the potential Super Bowl Matchups

Cardinals vs. Ravens – This is NBC’s worst nightmare. In fact, John Madden just read this and he started choking on the turducken leg he was eating. Your main storyline would be the Rookie QB vs. the Old QB. Yawn.

Brief Aside – I forgot to mention this last week, but I had this thought before last week’s games. A sort-of “dream scenario” if you will. What if the Cardinals and Titans had advanced to the Super Bowl, but in their respective Championship games, Kurt Warner and Kerry Collins had suffered significant injuries, forcing their backups to start Super Bowl 43? It would be a rematch of the 2006 Rose Bowl, Matt Leinart vs. Vince Young! Imagine that! Leinart improbably leads the Cardinals over VY and the Titans and exacts revenge for the Rose Bowl loss. Or Vince beats Leinart again and becomes a Super Bowl champion, restoring his shattered ego. Okay, back to reality…

Cardinals vs. Steelers – Is this an upgrade over the previous match-up? I suppose. At least the Steelers bring with them some polarization. Tons of folks who love the team, and plenty of Steeler-haters out there too. Your main storylines would be Ken Whisenhunt coaching against his former team and Kurt and Big Ben going for their second Super Bowl ring.

Eagles vs. Ravens – The clear storyline here would be McNabb getting another chance against the team he was losing to when he was benched. In fact, this would be forced down our throats (and the players’ throats as well) for two straight weeks. If this happens, McNabb might actually throw up BEFORE the Super Bowl instead of DURING it.

Eagles vs. Steelers – Probably the best potential matchup out there. Lots of animosity between Eagles and Steelers fans, especially where I live on the outskirts of central Pennsylvania. In fact, I work about 25 miles from Philly, but today at work there’s 1 Steeler jersey for every 4 Eagle jerseys. Even 300 miles from Pittsburgh, the Black and Gold are representing. The Battle of Pennsylvania. (I think it’s gonna happen)…

So, the Schnoz wants to know…who are you rooting for, and who do you think will win?

Last Week the Schnoz was 1-3 in his playoff picks. What’s shocking was that he got any right at all. Let’s move on to this week.

Baltimore Ravens (+3) at the Tennessee Titans

I want to pick the Titans in this game. I’ve believed in their defense and running game all year, I think Kerry Collins is better than people realize,  I even want to spend my winters in Jeff Fisher’s mustache. But there’s something about this Baltimore defense that makes me fear picking against them. It seems as though they are just as likely to score when they’re on the field as the other team’s offense is. Flacco on the road…again? Why not?

The Prediction: Ravens 23, Titans 17

***

Arizona Cardinals (+10) at the Carolina Panthers

Could this be the year of the outspoken Christian athlete? Tim Tebow wins the National Championship… then Kurt Warner wins the Super Bowl, Dwight Howard wins the NBA Championship, and Josh Hamilton and the Rangers win the World Series? Highly improbable…but it begs the question, if you had a chance of winning a million bucks if one of these 3 things happened, which would you pick?

a) Kurt Warner wins his next 3 games and wins the Super Bowl

b) The Orlando Magic win the NBA Finals

c) The Texas Rangers win the World Series

You’d take “a”, wouldn’t you? See that, there is a chance.  And on that note…

The Prediction: Panthers 30, Cardinals 14

***

Philadelphia Eagles (+4) at the New York Giants

I’m guessing Eagles fans, including Larry Shallenberger, are hoping the Schnoz goes against the Eagles again like I did last week. I was going to type up a defense of why I picked the Vikes to blow out the Birds in their game last week, but my fingers refused to press the keyboard. I had nothing. It was an indefensible pick. But this week, just in case the Giants lay an egg and Philly wins, I’ve got a nice defense for myself. I just don’t think I’ll need it. Why? EAGLES LOSE! SAME SCORE AS I WRONGLY PREDICTED LAST WEEK!

The Prediction: Giants 35, Eagles 14

***

San Diego Chargers (+6) at the Pittsburgh Steelers

I just don’t see the 6 points in this one. Pittsburgh’s great D is countered by their weak O. Pittsburgh’s Home Field advantage is countered by the fact that the Chargers are peaking NOW and playing their best ball of the season.  I think this will be a field goal game either way, so I’m taking the 6 points and grabbing a seat on the sidelines next to LT to watch this one unfold.

The Prediction: Steelers 24, Chargers 21

***

As a special to the Schnoz Report this week, I asked the PFB Members to give me their lock of the 4 games, as well as the other 3 winners. (These picks are straight up, not against the spread).

——————————————————————

If I had to pick one lock I’d say the Panthers because I think the Cardinal’s are the weakest team left.  Every game seems to close to call so I’ll go with the home teams……Titans, Steelers, Panthers and Giants.

——————————————————————

Lock to win this weekend Carolina.
Other wins.  Tennessee, Pittsburgh, New York.

.

——————————————————————

Pittsburgh over San Diego.  San Diego Doesn’t belong.  No way Rivers gets it done in that weather against that defense.

——————————————————————

Pittsburgh Steelers are my lock. I’m wishfully thinking the Philadelphia Eagles, Arizona Cardinals and Baltimore Ravens will all win.

.

——————————————————————

Lock-Panthers, Giants, Titans and Steelers

.

——————————————————————

Stillers take down the Bolts.  Of course, I’m predicting this as a lock so it’ll be wrong and I can rejoice with a sack dance over “Ben”’s concussed head.

[I should be more adult about this, but I'm still mad about the Stillers killing Carson Palmer's career and my remaining love of the NFL.]

——————————————————————

My lock is Carolina over Arizona. Arizona hasn’t won a single important road game all season long.  They will not start now, especially with Anquan Boldin’s iffy status.  Also, Chargers upset the Steelers, the Titans eke out another win over the Ravens, and the Eagles stun the Giants.

——————————————————————

Baltimore lock, I am very biased in this pick I really like the Ravens but I do think that they are on a roll and I am not certain of the other 3 games. I’ll go with the other favorites, Pittsburgh, Giants, Panthers. I think the Chargers will have a tough time winning in cold Pittsburgh, the Giants are a much better team than the Eagles and the Panthers should be able to run all over the Cards

——————————————————————

Giants over the Eagles are my lock. Other winners are Carolina, Baltimore and Pittsburgh.

My lock to win this weekend is…oh wait. There’s no lock. Seriously, I don’t think there’s a clear favorite in any game and they all are dangerous for the favored team. With that said, I think Philly and Carolina win in the NFC, and in the AFC, i think Tennessee and San Diego win this weekend.

——————————————————————

Lock to win: Tennessee over Baltimore.  The Titans have just been too good this year.  My other winners:  Carolina, Pittsburgh, and Philly.

.

——————————————————————

Tennessee, Giants, Pittsburgh (as much I would like that to not happen), Arizona

.

.

I like Pittsburgh at home as a lock.  San Diego is going to have to travel to the eastern time zone and play in some pretty cold weather.  Doesn’t look good for them.  Also going with Baltimore, Carolina and the Giants.

.

——————————————————————

I really want to say that my one lock this weekend is San Diego, on the back of former Kansas State great Darren Sproles (it’s a small back).  However, the obvious pick here is Carolina over Arizona. SD over PIT – Little Darren Sproles.  He’s shifty. TEN over BAL – I really liked the Oilers growing up. NYG over PHI – McNabb is due for a breakdown

.

——————————————————————

the Lock this weekend is the Panthers over the Cardinals other three winners Chargers, ravens, Giants

.

.

——————————————————————

Just like everyone else, I think the Panthers are a lock to win. Other winners are Giants, Ravens, and CHARGERS!!! I seriously think the Bolts will win.

.

——————————————————————

Lock- Pittsburgh over the “just happy to be here” Chargers. Other three: Giants, Panthers, and (ugh) Ravens

.

Lock – Tenn, SD, Arz, NYG

———————————————————————————————————————–

Want to join the team at PFB? Just send your name, favorite team, a lock of your hair, and a headshot to prayersforblowouts(at)gmail.com.

Because we know you were having PFB withdrawals over the holidays, The Schnoz offers you a quick look at this weekend’s Wild Card Matchups

Atlanta Falcons (-1.5) at the Arizona Cardinals

The Schnoz loves the Cardinals air attack, and thinks Steve Breaston might be the best 3rd wide receiver in the league. What I don’t love about the Cardinals is the competition they faced all year. Nor do I love the way they finished the season. The Falcons, on the other hand, played in arguably the best division in football and they finished strong. Taking a rookie QB on the road? Eh…Matt Ryan’s not a rookie anymore. I’ll take the dirty south.

The Prediction: Falcons 27, Cardinals 17

***

Indianapolis Colts (-1) at the San Diego Chargers

As I’ve mentioned on the Schnoz Report in previous weeks, the Colts are not great running the ball or defending the run. Still, I can’t wrap my head around the notion that Mr. MVP lets his season end at the hands of an 8-8 team of underacheivers. I don’t think the Colts make it to Tampa this year, but I like them winning tonight.

The Prediction: Colts 33, Chargers 24

***

Baltimore Ravens (-3) at the Miami Dolphins

Much has been made of how this matchup is a great one for the Ravens, and I’ll be honest: I’m buying it. Sure, Chad Pennington brings veteran savvy and smart decision-making into this game, but the Ravens defense is savvier and smarter. Not to mention they probably have more scoring playmakers on their defense than the Dolphins do on offense. Flacco won’t shine, but Ed Reed and Ray Lewis will pick up the slack.

The Prediction: Ravens 26, Dolphins 13

***

Philadelphia Eagles (-3) at the Minnesota Vikings

Here’s the one thing I think I know about this game: If either team gets up by more than two touchdowns early, it’s over. Tarvaris Jackson might be serviceable, but he’s not carrying the Vikings back from a big deficit in the face of Jim Johnson’s unrelenting blitzes. On the flip side, if the Vikings can get an early lead, I see them controlling the clock with All Day Peterson and covering Westbrook with 3 people on every play. So if one team manages to get that big early lead, who will it be? I’m taking the home Vikings.

The Prediction: Vikings 35, Eagles 20

If Betting were Legal

By the way, I ended up going 128-128 in my NFL picks this year. Dead Even. I thought I was a bit under .500, but a check of the official standings in my picks league this week showed that I had lost count at some point and finished with the same number of correct and incorrect picks.

So after 17 weeks, 256 games, and countless hours of analysis, I’ve got nothing to show for it. Maybe next year I’ll just flip a coin to pick the games and spend those extra hours reading or teaching my kids how to make raisins.

Enjoy the playoff games and another long weekend everyone!

-The Schnoz

In honor of Christmas, this week’s abbreviated Schnoz Report will have some holiday flavor. Think fruitcake, egg nog, and candy canes in a blender.

The 12 Days of Christmas The Schnoz Report

Day 1 – The Schnoz thinks the Broncos are going to lose to the Chargers in prime-time this week.  There’s just something about this Denver team that screams “we stink!”. Maybe it’s the fact that they stink.

Day 2 – The Cowboys win and they’re into the playoffs, making their game against the Eagles essentially, a playoff game. And when was the last time the Cowboys won a playoff game? That’s right, 1996. What were you doing in 1996? I was in college, failing Heat Transfer for the first, but not last, time.

Day 3 – Speaking of the Cowboys, another playoff season, another year of people using the phrase “control their own destiny”. C’mon people, we all know the only person who can control his own destiny is Tom Cruise. (The Schnoz has also heard unconfirmed rumors that Scott Boras is in talks with God about controlling his own destiny…more on that when news breaks.)

Day 4 - This will be the 4th year in a row for the NFC East where at least 3 of their 4 teams have a winning record. No other conference has had that type on consistency in recent history. Even still, I think the NFC West was the best division in football this year…for me to poop on.

Day 5 – The 49ers players are all growing throwback mustaches to go along with their throwback uniforms for their game against the Redskins this week. In an attempt to honor their own history, the Redskins will try to not suck.

Day 6 -The Schnoz is predicting a Patriots win over Buffalo, a Jets win over Miami, and a Ravens win over the Jaguars. This scenario would give the AFC East to the Pats and the 6th AFC playoff spot to the Ravens, who would face each other 7 days later in Foxboro in the first round of the playoffs.

Day 7 -Drew Brees needs 402 yards of passing on Sunday to break Dan Marino’s record. In a possibly related story, Dan Marino was last seen in in a New Orleans-area Home Depot purchasing a dozen gigantic fans and some power strips.

Day 8 – All Aaron Rodgers wants for Christmas is for you to know that the Packers have scored 29 more points this year than they’ve given up. Probably not the offense’s fault that their record is 5-10.

Day 9 – The Schnoz thinks the Vikings will take care of business and beat a cautious Giants team on Sunday to win the NFC North, giving them the #3 seed and a home playoff game against the Cowboys, Buccaneers, Bears, or Eagles.

Day 10 – The Schnoz isn’t sure why, but he gets real enjoyment from hearing New York Jets fans bemoan how awful Brett Favre and the team have played since that defeat of New England on that Thursday night game. If Mangini and the Jets lose to the Dolphins on Sunday, is Mangini back next year? Is Favre back? Do we really have to deal with that again?

Day 11 – The Schnoz thinks the AFC champion will come out of the AFC North. The level of defense played by the Steelers and Ravens will win you a game or two in January. Don’t be surprised if it’s a Pittsburgh-Carolina Super Bowl on February 1st. Do be surprised if it’s the Cardinals and Dolphins playing for the Lombardi trophy.

Day 12 – The Schnoz has no idea who the last playoff team in the NFC is going to be. Cowboys…Bucs…Bears…Eagles. You have any idea? If so, leave me a comment.

If Betting were Legal

Last Week: 7-9

Year to Date: 119-122

Didn’t get a chance to get my pics up this week, but I’ll let you know how bad they were after the fact.

Enjoy Week 17 and your long weekend everyone!

-The Schnoz